A reverse chronology of my life…

2010:  Breaking a hand in the Spring impacted much of the year.  Surgery and then physical therapy took a lot of time and focus that should have gone to my toddler.  She had just started to walk when I fell down my basement stairs, landing wrong on my hand.  I ended up hiring help to manage with her.

2009: Became a mom 2/8/09 at 40 to a girl!  Already have a boy who I had at 30 6/17/98.  My body is definitely different since then! Glad to not be pregnant!  Enjoying seeing Maya develop and transition my life to creating work from home.

2008: After a miscarriage AND a lay-off in April, was lucky to be expecting again by May, which got confirmed early June.  I was showing quickly and it wasn’t long before I started to get comments on my size and predictions of early pre-term labor and twins….

2007: Summer – Started a new lucrative job in aerospace.  Finished an MBA in marketing.  Got married 7/7/07 at gorgeous & romantic River Song Inn at Estes Park.  Went to Disney World & Cruise.  Went snorkeling for the first time at the Bahamas during the cruise.  Saw a rare spotted owl sting ray and a gorgeous view of underwater life.

Winter – went to India 12/13 for three weeks after 14 years!  Took new hubby and 9 year-old son (who did amazing – didn’t get sick while hubby & I did).  Went to village where I lived before moving to the states at 7.  Saw the house I lived in and relatives I didn’t know were there.

2006: Current hubby & I got serious.  He moved in with me by the summer and we got engaged.  Tried to focus on finishing up my MBA and manage working full-time with the aerospace company I had been with since 2001.

2005: Met the love of my life.  I first saw him in June at a lunch put together by Mile Hi Church.  I was late and didn’t expect much (so I took my time shopping nearby).  When I walked in, I noticed him immediately, feeling some hope for the group.  I sat next to him (the only seat available).  He was talking to a gal across from him and didn’t notice or introduce himself to me.***sigh***He got some ice-cream for dessert and left.  I left and someone else asked me out when outside, while I lamented that it wasn’t him asking me out. ***sigh***

Time passed and one Saturday in August, I had no dates that evening, so decided to attend a pot-luck with the church.  I emailed about it and found out no-one was hosting and was asked if I would.  I went ahead and offered to do so at the last minute.  He emailed he would be coming, but I did not associate his name to the person I met in June.  As the time approached for the potluck that night, I realized it would potentially be just him and was somewhat nervous about my safety.  I assumed he was some overweight loser who happened to be available.  What was I thinking??  I almost cancelled and then decided that would be rude.  Besides, he was with the church, and not a complete stranger.  Once I heard the knock on my door, I looked out the peephole to see the good-looking guy I wanted to get to know in June…the rest, well, is history….

2004:  Getting on my feet after divorcing the previous year.  Got further in my job and managed to get a house on my own – first without a hubby.  It felt empowering to not only look after myself, but also my son.  I was working full-time, over-time, and getting an MBA.

2003:  Finally managed to officially divorce, after several previous attempts and staying way too long in a destructive situation.  The universe must have been affirming my choice when it came through exactly on my 35th birthday, along with a return to my maiden name.   I felt like the happiest divorced person in the world, perhaps because it was so overdue and earned with so much difficulty and pain.  I had more than paid my dues.

2002:  What an unbelievably amazing year!  It made me believe in my spirituality more than any other year.  I felt the universe responding to my choices and giving me serious feedback and direction, leading to my ultimate final divorce.  Every month had it’s headlining crisis, and I could only shake my head in amazement and try to be open to insight.  It was not something that only I saw, but something so obvious, that other people commented on it.  May’s primary incident was a life-threatening roll-over I barely received a scratch from.  Another month, it was bankruptcy.

I had gotten to the point where the universe was clearly throwing bricks at me, and by the end of the year, I pieced together that it was for the destructive choice of trying to reconcile with my husband and for the false notion of trying to “keep my family together” at all costs.  I realized that emotionally, there was no marriage, just a desperate facade.

2001:  A dramatic Spring incident led to very messy divorce proceedings and not being able to see my toddler son for chunks of time.  It was a very difficult summer.  By September, I was awarded everything of what little there was.  I could not let go and canceled the proceedings, allowing my husband back into my home.  He had also recently lost his work.  9-11 happened right after, and I like many others, felt affirmed for trying to keep my marriage and family together.  Of course, like most in my situation found later, within 6 months, the desire to end things would be back.

2000:  I was a stay-at-home mom with a 2 year-old son and part-time free-lance writing work.  By Spring, my husband and I managed to buy our first home, after barely looking at it.  This was the time in Denver real-estate (and other areas) that people were camping out at homes to be able to purchase them.  By the summer, my husband lost his job again without warning.  By the end of that week, while he was touring with his parents, I managed to land 2 blue-collar part-time jobs in one afternoon.

1999:  Started free-lance writing.  My son became a year-old.  Was let go of my job in corp America, where I expected to climb the ladder till retirement.

1998:  Became a mother for the first time to a son.

1997:  Expecting!  Moved to a 2-br rental house.

1996:  Trying to find a good professional fit.  Struggling with marriage.

1995:  Got married, after living together (unsuccessfully) for 3 years, primarily to try to help spouse with health insurance.

1994:  Moved in the fall (October) to Denver from Chicago.

1993:  Trying to find professional happiness as a paralegal (unsuccessfully).

1992:  Moved to Chicago (November) from Pittsburgh with future spouse.

1991:  Went to India as a research assistant to about 17 UVA kids.  The trip was canceled after 3 weeks, but I mistakenly stayed on.  1st marriage completely unraveled, with a messy divorce to follow.  Met next husband ***sigh***

1990:  I graduated from college in May and did not get my first “real” job until 6 months later – one of about 375 applicants.  It was a part-time job with the local Fox affiliate as a copy-writer earning $6 an hour.  My ego didn’t appreciate it much as I expected to make at least $25k with my impeccable resume.  1st husband and I built a house and moved in.

1989:  Tried to make it till the end of my bachelors while being married and carrying out domestic duties, being an account executive, and staff writer for the Pitt News.

1988:  Tried to continue on like a zombie at U-Pitt.  Socialized with husband’s friends.  Tried to be a good, domestic wife and student.

1987:  In January, I had my legal wedding.  By that summer I joined my new husband to supposedly “help” my new family during their medical crisis.  Should have stayed back, taking a summer class (or getting an annulment) and running away to Carolina.  Moved to Pittsburgh in May.  Tried to settle into husband’s apartment, discovering pictures of his ex-girlfriend in the process.  Started at the University of Pittsburgh in the Fall, like a zombie.

We moved closer to U-Pitt, in a 1-br apt in a house.  After spending the summer with in-laws primarily in a hospital (after already having been in there for myself), my in-laws came to be with us in the Fall in our new home!  They took our only bedroom and new bed, while we slept on the hard-wood floor in the living room.

1986:  A pivotal, life-altering year.  Graduated from high school, family strife landed me in the hospital.  Family arranged a marriage and canceled my admission to Carolina that Fall.  I met my future husband in September, saw him 3 times, reviewed his immaculate resume and was engaged by the end of the year.

1985:  We went to India in the summer for my middle sister’s wedding.  After she and I came back to the states, my brother got married there as well.  Suddenly, there were new people in the family, once they arrived.  It was very awkward and uncomfortable with the new dynamics and lots of people in the house.