Pria Acharya

Dealing With The Unexpected

Finding balance, Philosophy, Self-Care Comments Off

Mar 192010

Yesterday seemed like a nice, warm, pleasant day before the expected storm that is on its way to give us about seven inches of snow. Looking back, I’m now remembering that I didn’t get in the intent to fertilize my lawn to take advantage of the moisture. It was about 4:20pm and I was about to take my kids to the local instrument store to drop off my son’s trumpet for repair. I was considering picking up some favorite food of Porter’s on the way back to celebrate his monthly “birthday.” He was probably going to play tennis after work to take advantage of the weather. We give ourselves a “me” day every month on the day of our birth.

We were waiting for Maya to wake up from her nap so I tried to tidy up quickly first. In commemoration of Spring and to treat myself a little, I had put on my slip-on burgundy shoes with a wide wedge heel that were a post-divorce treat. You can probably anticipate where this is going…

I had some notes on my sofa table that I thought I’d get over to my desk in our finished basement. Mid-way down the stairs, near the turn, a wedge heal seemed to catch against the Berber carpet and I felt my self lose balance, literally, not metaphorically. I was conscious of trying to protect my head from the wall. In the process, my left hand ended up going backwards, in the direction our hands are not intended to go, with the weight of my body landing on it.

I gathered my wits and sat there at the landing, assessing the situation, after pulling my hand out. I hadn’t hit my head against the wall in front of me and had probably scratched my knees. My left hand was beginning to feel excruciating pain. I remembered hearing that when you break something, it hurts a lot. And the pain I felt seemed comparable to my drug-free birth from a year prior. My shoes were laying near me.

The Culprit

Colin continued to play his video game in the living room. Finally, I calmly asked him to set that down and help me. Isn’t it amazing how we parents can remain calm and quiet with excruciating pain when our kids are around? I had him get me an ice-pack, which I put on my hand and continued my task of getting my papers to my desk. I realized I was probably not going to be able to use my hand to drive and that Porter’s day was going go not as planned.

Going back upstairs, I asked Colin to call Porter and explain what happened and that I might need to go to the local clinic. Colin thought I was invincible and was trying to process that I was hurt. I sat in excruciating pain waiting for Porter to drive from Aurora, get Maya situated with Colin as brief babysitter while he dropped me off.

At the Dr.’s, while waiting in the examination room, I let the tears roll for the pain and turn of events. How was I going to hold Maya? She couldn’t walk yet and seemed to be about 25lbs. What about writing and gardening? Or even cooking and cleaning? Damn those shoes! Why hadn’t I taken them off before going down the stairs? Why hadn’t I gone slower?

X-rays showed I had broken my hand in two places. I had never broken a bone before. This was my first, at 41 and with a baby not yet walking. Not the best time! We ended up with another mini-crisis as my ring finger was swelling and I could not remove my precious engagement and wedding ring. In the end, it was cut, which was still a struggle to remove. Finally, a tech came to the rescue by prying the ring apart with tools while it was pushed up, preventing another cut. I knew Porter would not be happy with this side development (and he wasn’t). We have lousy health insurance, so this is not a good financial development, outside of the ring. Typically, we pay everything up to our high deductible. $newly fractured hand$

About an hour later, after getting my hand in a splint and bandage and referrals to hand surgeons (I hadn’t connected the dots that this would mean hand surgery, which Porter clarified), Porter picked me up. It was now about three hours since my fall and I still hadn’t had any pain medicine besides two aspirins at home. We picked up a prescription for Vikaden, which I finally took at 8:30pm, since it was supposed to be taken at bedtime, after a struggle getting a snug long-sleeve off my hand in a cast, that Porter finally got off. How was I going to manage shirts?

The Vikaden seemed to help but I seemed to keep waking up andwas lying awake by 2am, feeling my hand ache. Then finally by 2:30, I thought I’d go ahead and blog to keep my mind off the pain. So here I am, typing away with one hand. It’s almost 4am, so I’m not exactly efficient, but at least have the use of my right hand since I’m right-handed.

Suicide Prevention

Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose Comments Off

Mar 162010

I would like to start featuring individuals that I feel are doing work that is particularly meaningful. The topic of suicide prevention is a difficult one for many to think about and discuss. Yet suicide has affected the lives of many.

I first was exposed to the issue as a teen when working for a counseling hot-line that began accepting suicide calls. Speaking with individuals in such a challenging state was profound. I myself struggled with the issue in my former marriage. I could relate to the concept of losing one’s perspective when in a dysfunctional circumstance. I have also lost an uncle and a cousin by suicide, possibly related to bipolar disorder.

A friend I met at my son’s baby playgroup in 1998 and now also attending my Unitarian church, Sally Spencer-Thomas, shares her work on suicide prevention.

“On December 7, 2004, my younger brother Carson died by suicide after a difficult struggle with bipolar disorder, and my life was forever changed. I had been a psychologist and counselor for over a decade, and I knew a lot of things about mental health, but after this experience my soul has shifted. I have dedicated my life to both celebrating my brother’s amazing entrepreneurial spirit and preventing what happened to him from happening to others.

In the Spring of 2005 our family and Carson’s friends established a nonprofit called, The Carson J Spencer Foundation . We envision a world where leaders and communities are dedicated to sustaining a passion for life. We sustain a passion for life through suicide prevention, social enterprise and support for emerging leaders. In our work with suicide prevention we have established ourselves as the first organization in the U.S. to develop a program that is exclusively dedicated to helping workplaces develop a comprehensive suicide prevention initiative called Working Minds. It’s a little known fact that the majority of people who die by suicide are men of working age, so we have found some innovative ways to reach out. We also know that we need to start younger, so I speak professionally on college campuses around the country and promoting our message that “People Prevent Suicide.”

One of our other successes has been to partner with Junior Achievement to teach high school business students about the art of social enterprise. Student groups from around Colorado develop business plans and compete for seed money, but unlike the usual business plan competition, ours has a unique challenge. These students must develop a product or service that raises both money and awareness for suicide prevention. They first conduct a needs assessment by surveying their classmates and learning about resources, and then they develop a plan that addresses some root cause of the problem. We also award one Junior Achievement student each year with a “Rising Star” scholarship to help him or her get to college.

Finally, we support families bereaved by suicide. When a loved one dies from suicide, families often find they are traumatized, isolated and filled with haunting questions. We send iCare packages through The Gifts of Hope to these families — offering resources such as books, music and tip sheets and referrals to support groups. Working in these areas has been tremendously fulfilling for me, and I feel that Carson is with me, giving me support along the way.”

Chili Fest Chili

Cooking, Recipes 1 Response »

Mar 122010

Chili Fest Chili With Yogurt-Cilantro Topping

This is chili with a kick. I entered it into my husband’s coveted chili cook-off at work today. I won 2nd place last year. Back then, I had by chance already made chili for the family when Porter had mentioned the contest. It was different because I had just tried a tip I picked up from the Food Network about using couscous to thicken the chili. It worked!

This year, I decided to pull out the big guns with this recipe I found in “Moosewood Restaurant, Cooking For Health.” It looks like their latest book and I consider whatever they write to be a bible for vegetarians. It has some intriguing ingredients like cinnamon, molasses, cloves and the big kick and flavor from chipotle pepper in Adobo sauce. Not being conservative with the chipotle led to my downfall for this competition as it turned out too hot for most. It was helped with the use of chips and the topping of cilantro yogurt also cooled things off.

I am telling you as a warning so you don’t make my mistake, esp if you are cooking for others who don’t like their food too spicy, like my husband. I do just fine and I kept wanting more. The chipotle burns your tongue and you can feel the warmth from the cloves in the back of your throat. I my eyes got teary and my nose was getting runny, but I was ready for more…Maybe it would be a great cold reliever!

Serves 6 to 8, yields about 9 cups, time: ~ an hour

Ingredients

2 tblsps vegetable oil
1 cup diced onions
2 cups diced bell peppers
1 cup diced carrots
1 cup diced celery
1 1/2 tblsps ground cumin
1 tblsp ground coriander
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1 tblsp paprika
1 tblsp canned chipotles in adobo sauce (I used a rounded tblsp – don’t do that unless you like your chili fiery. Use less than tblsp if making for others that don’t like things very spicy)
1 28-oz can diced tomatoes
1 tblsp molasses
2 15-oz cans red kidney beans, undrained (I used mostly from scratch that I had on hand)
salt
1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
3 tblsps chopped fresh cilantro

Directions

In a soup pot on high heat, warm the oil briefly and then add the onions and bell peppers and saute for 5 minutes. Add the carrots and celery, reduce the heat to medium, cover, and cook until tender, about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Stir in the cumin, coriander, oregano, cinnamon, cloves, and paprika, cover, and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally so the spices won’t stick.
Meanwhile, in a blender, puree the chipotles and adobo sauce with the tomatoes. Add the pureed tomatoes, the molasses, and the beans with their liquid, to the soup pot. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat, cover, and simmer, stirring often, for 30 minutes. Add salt to taste.
While the chili is cooking, in a small bowl, stir together the yogurt and cilantro and set aside.
Serve the chili topped with the cilantro yogurt.

Variations: (I’m looking forward to trying this in the future) Add tempeh: Cut 8 ounces of tempeh into 1/2-inch cubes. Warm a tablespoon of vegetable oil in a skillet on medium-high heat and cook the tempeh cubes, stirring often, until browned, about 5 minutes. Stir in a tablespoon of soy sauce. Add the browned tempeh to the chili just before serving.

Adjust the amount of chipotles to suit your taste for “hot.” You can start with less and add more finely minced chipotles after the chili has simmered for 15 or 20 minutes.

Use 1 can of red kidney beans and 1 can of black beans.

Per 1 serving, 1 generous cup – calories: 210, protein: 11g, carbs: 34g, fiber: 8g, total fat: 5g, saturated fat: 1g, monounsaturated fat: 2g, cholesterol: 1mg, sodium: 212mg

Stop Emotional Eating

Finding balance, Fitness, Personal Growth, Weightloss Comments Off

Mar 102010

Emotional eaters get a high from eating that is short-lived. Eating takes control of them and there is a loss of control over their behavior. They continue to engage in the same behavior over and over despite knowledge of the consequences.

Steps to Stop Emotional Eating
1. Stop Hiding: Be accountable to yourself, food, and family. Don’t have “secret” meals.
2. Be Mindful (vs. Mindless): This refers to slowing down your eating and appreciating your food with all your senses. Do a raisin experiment – put one on your tongue and focus on how it feels. Then chew and swallow while noticing and appreciating it as it goes into your digestive system. Eating mindfully has been shown to help people eat less and gain less weight.
3. Feed yourself without food: Feed yourself emotionally. Reach out to others and spend time with them.
4. Make a safety plan: This refers to what you’re going to do instead of eating, such as calling a friend, going for a walk, or taking a warm bath. Using peppermint oil helps invigorate the senses and helps connect with your mood. Most importantly, the safety plan starts before entering the kitchen.

Exercise and love yourself!

Source: Dr. Oz

Competitiveness and The Struggle for Balance

Finding balance, Relationships Comments Off

Mar 092010

Recently, the topic of balancing individual activities with the rest of our lives came up in my marriage, as I imagine it does in most marriages. Especially when we have been single for a while and enter into marriage a little later, it can be an adjustment looking at the activities that have been a part of our lives and determining what will continue to be a part of our lives and what needs some modification at least.

An example of such an activity for Porter is tennis. He has grown up being engaged with the sport and has spent much time and probably money in lessons. His passion for tennis was an attraction to me as I appreciate someone being focused on athleticism and fitness and specifically like the sport. Our level of attachment to tennis is not the same, though. My desire is not as committed and is more about enjoyment – being outside, being social, and getting fit without risking one’s life, as in some other sports. I do not feel a desire for competitiveness, whereas Porter does.

Colin taking tennis lessons

So the topic has come up about his level of involvement in tennis this year and meeting his desire for competitiveness while meeting the needs of his marriage and family. It can be a touchy conversation as I don’t want to be in the position of telling my mate what to do. I feel we all have to figure out the balancing act for ourselves constantly. We can’t have someone else do it for us. I felt that he had the primary information on what his potential commitment would entail and its implication in terms of time and money. He has to figure out how it would play out in terms of creating the balance needed. If I didn’t get enough attention, he would probably hear about it! 😉

I have to figure out the balancing act constantly, as does any Mom who is also trying to pursue other interests on the side. I want to nurture my family and at the same time nurture myself. I recognize that if I don’t nurture myself, it will be more challenging to nurture my family. It is not a smooth process as it seems something is always falling through the cracks and not everything gets the right amount of attention. This probably touches on the vast topic of a struggle with perfection.

Yesterday, for instance, my almost-walking daughter, Maya, grabbed a glass of water from the dining table and it shattered all around her. I ran out of the restroom yelling her name in time to grab her before she took a step and stepped in glass and thanked God that it hadn’t flown on her. I reproached myself for not having been more vigilant about the glass being within her reach and for not taking her in the restroom with me or securing her in her playpen or crib when stepping away. I needed to focus more energy on keeping the home more baby-proofed.

So it seems something is always being neglected. While I’m writing this, I could be doing laundry, dishes, or taxes, to name a few competing responsibilities. I don’t have a perfect solution or formula. What I try to do is to allow appropriate time to different needs and desires to find that elusive sense of balance. Maya is currently napping, which ends up being the only time I can do something that is about my interests. I try to be efficient so I can cram in other necessities, such as taking a shower.

So my struggle for balance involves managing my different responsibilities and interests everyday to be as healthy and happy as I can be. Competitiveness is not an element that factors in much for me. I may have it in a broad, general sense that I do not want to be a “loser” and will always try to get in a sense of productivity and growth from my days. I’ll never be seen spending my day eating bonbons or napping away the day. I’m restless and will always be working on something. Maybe I compete with myself. Where are you on the range of competitiveness and how do you factor this in to achieve balance with the rest of your life?

Spring Cleaning – Preteen Boy’s Room

Children, De-cluttering, Motherhood, Organizing Comments Off

Mar 042010

As the first signs of Spring are starting to be seen with the beginning of March, windows are being opened for some fresh air and thoughts of dusting, de-cluttering, organizing and Spring cleaning are not far behind.

From the Butterfly Pavillion

The starting point for my current spring cleaning is my son Colin’s room. It’s been neglected. It needs some upgrading to his current age, some organizing, lots of purging, and cleaning. He has not kept up with the cleaning and the cleaning lady we recently had was being challenged figuring out her way around enough to clean. She gave me the homework assignment of getting some bags of stuff out of there, which I had not completely complied with.

I have started by moving his bed to a different location – that always lends a different, refreshing perspective to a room. That meant discovering a whole world under his bed. Often, de-cluttering and cleaning for Colin has meant shoving as much as he can under the bed. I’ve been pulling things out from under there, so it wasn’t too bad this time. So initially, I cleared and cleaned the area his bed was going to cover and then put everything questionable to one side of his room, once the bed was moved. This looks more cluttered than before. But trust the process!

I’m trying to create “homes,” for his stuff, which I still need to do. He has a big plastic tub (can’t have too many plastic bins!) that fits under his bed, which is now a home for art. I have to find homes for all the other stuff piled to one side of his room. Things gradually start to find groups and then you find a container to put them in and a logical place for the container. As you create the homes and move stuff out, you see more and more space (and feel lighter!)

I am starting to learn some lessons, especially for getting together a preteen boy’s room:

Clear, covered plastic containers of all sizes solve many problems. They keep dust at bay and keep things separate and easy to see. I need a bigger one for his legos that no longer can be covered in the current container. There are an abundant amount of small stuff to store and keep separate – pens, markers, etc.
Keep stuff to a minimum. Colin’s room is not very big, so taking out unecesary stuff helps a lot. This meant taking out a shelf that was only holding clutter. Moving the bed to one side also freed up valuable playing space. I have the vacuum handy to clean any new space as I go along. With Colin’s help, we’ll go through his books to weed out those he’s read and outgrown, toys he has outgrown or doesn’t want to play with, and clothes that he no longer fits in. These will be donated.
Every room needs some nature and greenery. There are some small plants that I will put into a big pot to put in a corner of his room. It should also help the air in his room.
Maintain the space regularly. A kid’s room needs constant maintenance to purge it of stuff that’s been outgrown. With my 1 year-old, I keep a bag near her changing station to keep putting in clothes that no longer fit. It’s a much more frequent process than with my son. A preteen boy needs to be reminded regularly to maintain his room. We’ve tried to have a set time, 8pm, when he needs to wind up his day, including watching TV, and take some time to get his room straight before retiring for the night. This is still a work in progress.

He is very happy with his space once it’s done. What needs work is having that pride stay long enough to keep maintaining the space to keep it in top condition. What I find is that if the “vision” for the room strays too much, I have to go in there and re-haul it so he has an idea of what to work towards, which is what I am working on right now. Hopefully, when he comes home from school today, he will have a wonderful surprise when he opens his bedroom door.

Take my survey

Weekend trip to San Diego

Travel, vacation Comments Off

Mar 022010

My husband, Porter, has a conference in San Diego this week, so it was a good opportunity for the family to get a little weekend break beforehand from the winter doldrums in Denver. The recent snow had kept us cooped up, so it was refreshing to see a different change of scene, especially one that is very Spring-like with all its greenery and flowers.

It’s great to see the view of the bay and sailboats when leaving the airport. Our hotel was at the bay, across from the museum/boat “Star of India.” This boat was next to one used by Russell Crowe in a movie. We enjoyed strolling on the boardwalk and appreciating the different artistic sculptures that adorned the area. It was nice to see the changing views of the bay every time we went to our room.

It was sunny on Friday and after a nice stroll on the boardwalk, we were able to take a brief shuttle to the quaint Sea Port Village where Maya got to ride a historic carousel. We enjoyed food while watching a sunset over the bay and listened to live South American music in the evening.

Maya had a challenging night on her first night, which meant Porter and I didn’t sleep. It rained much of the day on Saturday. I was already not feeling well from a cold, so Saturday ended up not very eventful. A friend was able to show Porter and Colin some breathtaking views while I stayed back tending to Maya and hoping to nap. Sunday was the primary day for sight-seeing and we spent most of it at the zoo. We had vacationed for a week in San Diego in August of 2006 and this was about the only primary place we had not gone to. There was lots to see and we were not able to see much of it in the six hours we were there. I was especially sad to not have squeezed in the miniature train for Maya. Petting a goat’s ear was probably her big event. She probably thought it wasn’t very different from petting one of our dogs’ ears.

Our favorite views at the zoo were of the pandas and koala bears. It was worth waiting in line to see the pandas up close, and glimpsing a baby panda sleeping on a hammock.

Napping baby panda and mama at the San Diego Zoo

There was an adorable view of a mama koala bear cuddling her baby koala, who seemed to be smiling.

A strange incident occurred once I landed in Denver with my kids. As we were leaving the airport, I heard on the intercom about a black jacket being switched on my flight. I looked in my pocket and there was a business card I didn’t recognize! I had on someone else’s jacket! I thought it was tight…I had to run my kids to customer service for the exchange. The reps were amazed by the similarities in the jacket and apparently the had been stored together in the overhead bin. The other customer had taken off with mine and I grabbed the black jacket left. Something to keep in mind when traveling! Make sure you have your own stuff! I imagine black overhead bags get mixed up a lot as well.

Mama and baby koala

Sunny, 50 degree weather in Denver wasn’t too bad to come home to yesterday, and we will enjoy this for a few days. We will then brace ourselves for our snowiest months coming up before we get peeks of the crocuses through the snow, promising Spring.

Building a Child’s Self Esteem (Ages 3-12)

Children, Parenting, Self-esteem Comments Off

Feb 182010

Maya and Colin 1.10

By the age of three, about 85% of the brain has developed. Those are crucial years. I’ve taught at the preschool level and learned first-hand how little value those years have been given. There should be plenty of funding and support for these years.

Some points to consider in building self-esteem:

3 to 5 year-olds

Pride is emerging, along with self-conscious emotions like shame, guilt and embarrassment. This prompts preschoolers to be more prone to being easily torn down and easily built up as well.
Encourage your child’s sense of capability by encouraging a variety of activities. Help your child to keep setbacks in perspective and to set realistic expectations. Remind your child of progress and successes in the past.
Praise only what your child does well rather than making general exaggerated comments.
Acknowledge the difference your child is making, such as when your child helps around the house. This lets your child know of his or her importance.
When your preschooler does something wrong, help your child to gain his or her own conclusion to gain a better understanding of the world and how to succeed in it.

6 to 12-year-olds

With school comes competition and evaluation, which can undermine your child’s self-esteem. Kids will measure themselves against peers.
It’s now more important than ever to praise efforts rather than specific accomplishments or general traits like intelligence. Kids that are told they’re smart resist learning new things and limit themselves. Kids who are taught the importance of working hard and concentrating thrive. They are more motivated, perform higher and have higher self-esteem.
Keep your child focused on self-improvement rather than shortcomings in relation to peers. Explain how kids are good at different things, and that no one is good at everything. Help your child figure out his or her strengths. There may be an aspect of a sport or activity that your child does well, such as knowing and following the rules well. Reward participation and effort.
When setbacks happen, keep the focus on future improvement. Practice with your child to participate in working toward a goal.
Problem-solve together, allowing your child to come up with solutions first and then offering your input. This will help your child see him or herself as a valued, thinking member of the family.
When you express love to your child, set not limits on yourself!

Building a Child’s Self-Esteem (to age 2)

Children, Parenting, Self-esteem 3 Responses »

Feb 172010

I like to read about ways to improve myself, including the area of parenting. In the parenting world, building the self-esteem of my preteen son and one-year-old daughter is important to me. Here are some points I’ve gleaned:

Birth to Age 1:

Create a secure attachment with your child. Try to know your child’s different cries and their meaning. Take note of facial expressions and body language. Make regular eye contact. It’s even been shown that there is a connection between eye contact at a young age with higher grades later in high school.

Along with eye contact, cooing and mirroring says babies that they are worthy of love. As the baby approaches the age of one, allow appropriate freedom to increase skills, while being there for falls, assuring your child that you will be there. Praise freely at this age.

One to Two Year-olds:

Allow the process of letting self-esteem develop through the feeling of competence and capability. We must find the balance between encouraging independence while providing clear boundaries and rules. We should praise accomplishments, but not make generic, sweeping statements like “you’re brilliant.” This can result in the child developing unrealistic expectations without a basis in skills or abilities and damage self-esteem in the long run.

Toddlers still need the reassurance that comes from hugging and cuddling. Toddlers also need the comfort of limits. A big goal of this period is to develop self-control, which is directly linked to self-esteem. Use explanations instead of just the word “no.” Focus comments on the behavior rather than the child.

Enhancing self-esteem includes a long-term supply of supportive words and gestures. It’s never too early or late to do something to enhance a child’s self-esteem.

Pria with Maya at 11 Months

Tomorrow I will provide some points on enhancing self-esteem for three to 12 year-olds.

Source: Ginny Graves – Redbook

My Daughter Turns 1

Children, Motherhood, Parenting Comments Off

Feb 162010

My adorable daughter, Maya, turned one on February 8. We spread out her birthday celebration, doing different activities to accommodate her schedule. I am sharing some photos of this time period.

I look at her now and feel amazed at how intact she seems. I am so relieved and pray she continues to be healthy and happy. I think of all the issues and scares of the past year, feeling nervous about her fragile phases and worrying about various situations that I did not get perfect. There seemed to be soap that got in her mouth as an infant. Once her swing seemed to be swung too much and I worried about shaken baby syndrome. There’s been the constant threat of SIDS, that I hope she has graduated from. There have been many “bonks” as she learned to sit, stand, crawl, and now cruising in preparation for walking. Once she slipped off the couch, bonking her head. Stuff happened that I thought wouldn’t happen on my watch.

When she first learned to crawl, she crawled off the bed, completely freaking me out. The bed was no longer safe and I knew I would have to be constantly vigilant about where she crawled to, and navigate around my pets. Once she startled my sleeping Australian Shepherd (I didn’t notice he was where she crawled to) and ended up with a little cut in her ear and above her eye. I was freaked out again. I would have to referee better with him. I worry as she feeds the dogs from her high chair, holding out her tiny hand and crabbing my shepherd’s fur as he walks by.

I’ve generally been afraid of babies. I’ve thought they were cute, but too fragile to trust myself with. In fact, when I had my son in 1998, at 30, after 21 hours of labor, I wouldn’t hold him when he was offered to me. I was concerned about my strength at the moment and was afraid of dropping him. I was awkward trying to first put clothes on him, not sure about twisting his limbs into the clothes. Driving was a whole other concern.

I can’t say I’ve come far in my baby concerns since having my son, which my daughter has benefited from. In a sense, my experience validated my concern about their fragility. When he was two, he fell from a chair (while trying to turn the light switch on and off), just a few feet from me, and fractured his elbow. The total distance was about a foot, but he apparently fell wrong and I wasn’t fast enough in catching him. It seemed to happen in slow motion. A doctor asked, “why were you letting him climb on chairs?” Because I’m an irresponsible idiot! I had nightmares of him falling in slow motion for a long time. I’ve felt for a long time like the best and easiest phase for me is adolescence – I can imagine many parents of adolescents cringe.

It may be a while, at least until Maya is five and going to kindergarten, that I will remain vigilant and before I can try to relax a little…