Pria Acharya

Recording Memories

Children, Finding Meaning, Rituals Comments Off

Dec 222009

With the start of winter break for my preteen son, I am hoping to get caught up with scrap-booking his childhood pictures with his help. So far, there has been a lot of selling with not much buying. I showed him the end result, some of his baby pictures in the book, and how much he would enjoy them later, how HIS kids would not like to go through a chaotic pile of pictures.

All these points, he was fine with, but the end result was that after initially organizing a few pictures by age, as requested, he wandered off to watch Jurassic Park Part III and suggested under his breath that maybe I do the scrap-booking instead. I thought he had a point in that it is MY hobby. He wouldn’t even know what to say next to the pictures as it is from my perspective and he wouldn’t remember what was going on in the pictures.

Still, I had hoped some artistic interest would call out to him. I’m hoping he will get more involved when I get to an artistic part. And I just need the help as I am still trying to finish his newborn pictures. His pictures are from a time when digital cameras were just starting to enter the scene. They were big, clunky objects. So everything I shot was developed, good or bad, that needs to be scrap-booked, since 1998. ***sigh*** I dream of being done by New Year’s so that I can try to get caught up with my daughter’s book. I don’t want to wait too long as it gets harder to figure out what to write along with the pictures. Plus her pictures are all on the computer, so I have to first get them developed.

Then of course there are all the pictures in between, vacations and so forth. Will I ever get caught up? I also have a birth-record cross-stitch that I started when I was expecting my son. It is barely 1/4 done and I hope to complete it for my daughter.

I enjoy the idea of recording memories. I picture my kids leafing through their books long after I’m gone, feeling like they have a better sense of themselves and my view of them as they were growing up. I know I would treasure something like this, and I imagine that they would as well. I love photography and scrap-booking my children’s lives seems like a meaningful utilization of my photographic interest.

It is possible that I’m spending way too much time and energy on recording memories rather than making them, but for now, I have to plod forward to satisfy the “Monk” (our favorite TV show about the obsessive-compulsive detective) in me. I hope I am rewarded someday by finding much meaning and comfort in my recorded memories.

I Have a New Sister!

Causes, Finding Meaning, Women Comments Off

Dec 172009

women_for_women_logo I have finally been matched with a sister in Afghanistan I’ve sponsored through Women for Women International. The organization has had a great response recently, so it too them a few months to expand and match sisters.

It’s such a great concept to get specifics on a specific individual one is helping. It personalizes world events that can be easy to shut off because they are not occurring in our neighborhood. In the future, I hope to get a letter from her that I can show my preteen son. I want him to know about a world beyond Ipods (what he wants for Christmas) and the latest video game system (another wish of his).

Sponsoring a female survivor of war through Women for Women allows me to feel more meaning in my life. Maybe doing so would allow you to feel the same. Unfortunately, there are many women that have had to struggle with the effects of war and could use a helping hand. Make a donation by the 31st for a tax deduction in 2009!

Click here now to make your tax-deductible year-end gift by December 31st.

The Annual Holiday Letter

Ettiquette, Outlook, Rituals Comments Off

Dec 162009

Ahh, that wonderful tradition of summarizing your life the past year and sending that out to everyone you know, is finally here! It’s been said that people either hate or love getting annual holiday letters. I’m a little suspicious of the people that love them.

The letters seem a bit “wrong” and in poor taste. At no other time would a press release from me about my wonderful life be appropriate, so why in a holiday card? It seems like a short-cut to building a relationship through regular communication and time together. If people were interested in minute details of our life, they would have already heard it through our relationship. If they haven’t, maybe they’re not interested?

I have felt that the old-fashioned etiquette of sending people personalized cards acknowledging the recipients’ life is best. It reinforces the relationships you are maintaining and building. Last year, one of my cards included a long heart-felt, hand-written letter to a friend offering support with his recent divorce.

The big event for me this year has been having my daughter in February. Therefore, any card I’m receiving should perhaps acknowledge the birth of my daughter! But no one will get a letter from me announcing this as they would already know that if they are in my life! As for any trials and tribulations, they would already know what is appropriate for our level of friendship! Sending out a letter outlining all this would be trying to replace the effort involved in having a relationship, where mutual events and feelings are shared as they are happening.

One could easily argue that holiday letters are not even good manners! Since when was talking only about ourselves good manners? As much as I like to write and share, I don’t plan to ever write the holiday letter and try not to groan too much when I receive the fine print and am compelled to read them.

If you do write them, try to at least be real and refrain from bragging about your wonderful life. I wonder what President Obama would say in his letter? “Guess what, I became president!” Top that. If you announce your promotion, you might depress the recipient who was laid off. It’s easy to not be sensitive in generic, one-size-fits-all holiday letters. Maybe try to be entertaining and funny if the reader is spending precious time reading your letter!

Best wishes to all who receive and write them, but especially to those that receive them.

Banking Dream

Finances, Saving Money, Simplicity Comments Off

Dec 152009

A company I’ve had great experience with, in contrast to Chase, is ING Direct. I’ve been an on-line customer since 2005 and love the simplicity and savings in time and money I’ve had.

Almost all my bills are automatically deducted from there. I just make sure I’ve got enough money to cover them and don’t have to take the time to mail bills. If anyone is still doing that, STOP! Why waste the time and postage? Conquering tasks such as bill-paying helps with having more balance in our lives.

This ritual is not fun for anyone and I don’t miss it at all. I see the amounts that go through, so can take action if I see an amount that seems unusual. I’ve also historically gotten a higher interest rate than I’ve seen, which has been going down steadily.

I felt even more validated for my banking choice when I recently read an article in Money Magazine stating we should have an emergency saving account in ING. Making sure we have at least an emergency savings account is a goal all should try to achieve to feel some basic semblance of balance. Leave a comment if you are interested in joining the bank and would like a $10 referral bonus.

The more simplicity we have in our lives, the more balanced we feel.

Business Banking Nightmare

Finances, Saving Money, Small Business Comments Off

Dec 092009

Where should I begin with my business banking nightmare at Chase?! I just cried over them I was so frustrated and violated! After fees on my business checking that made no sense (for inactivity – nowhere in their documentation does it state this as a concern), I closed the account, moving funds to the savings until I could transfer to another institution. Today I noticed a fee on the savings. When I called about it, I was told I needed a minimum balance. When I asked what that was, they put me on hold for a while (they don’t know??) and came back with $10k. Agggghhh!!! They even said it says in “their notes” that I was informed. It doesn’t say that in MY notes!!!

They stated that the only place this is stated is in their employee info. Customers aren’t privy to this information??! I already have a BBB report started from the checking issue and now I am to contact the CEO’s office. I already know how that will go. This is so sad for anyone struggling to start their own business in these economic times. You would think the government would be doing everything they could to encourage banks to be good to their small business customers! I wanted to pass on this caveat to anyone starting a business and looking for a bank, don’t consider Chase!

Be Proactive

Finding balance, How to find balance, Personal Growth Comments Off

Dec 022009

Stephen Covey is one of my favorite authors, and his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is a classic that everyone should read. It made a significant impact on me and I aspire to practice these habits. I read and own the book, went to a class on the topic, and have the video tapes of the book and habits for my kids.

Habit 1 is to be proactive. The big point he makes with this habit is that we have choices in life that determine the outcome we end up with. If we didn’t like a particular outcome in the past, we can choose according to the outcome we want in the future. He points out that we design our life by these choices, so that life doesn’t “happen” to us. Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is also about taking responsibility for our lives and responding to events and circumstances based on our values rather than reacting. “Instead of blaming circumstances, conditions, or chance for our behavior, we choose our own responses and make our own decisions.”

Exercising this habit also means using proactive language such as “I can” and “I will” rather than reactive language such as “I can’t” or “If only.” Focusing on what they can control is an important aspect of proactive people. Understanding how we spend our energies is a big step towards being more proactive.

Sources: Stephen Covey, Franklin Covey

Meditation Techniques

Alternative Medicine, How to find balance, Meditation, Self-Care Comments Off

Dec 012009

Many of us know the effectiveness of meditation for many aspects of our lives. Some benefits include more energy, a calmer mind. What some may not know is that meditation increases levels of melatonin. This hormone helps our immune system and also promotes restful sleep, slows aging and cell damage, and even inhibits cancer cells.

Managing our lives to make time for meditation requires organization and planning. I know that I have had a challenging time fitting it into my current life with a newly-crawling, nine-month-old infant who likes to be up by 5am to be nursed. My day starts early and there is not a break to be able to quietly meditate by myself. My husband and I have talked about trying to squeeze in some meditation together in the evening, which has not transpired yet. Once the kids are put down to sleep by around 8:30, we are left with about an hour before we are ready for bed (the next day will start by 5am!). I will need to consider maybe trying to get a few minutes in when my baby naps, along with my shower, food, and everything else. What I want to get in during this limited golden 1-2 hours a day is increasingly ambitious. So much so, I forget to do things like have lunch, which I remembered today at 3pm.

Regardless, I commend all of you who can manage any time for meditation. It is best in the morning, as close to your waking up time as possible and before going to bed. A few minutes any time during the day is better than none. There are many types of meditation, including the following two types.

6-7.09, CA 042a

Mindful Meditation

Find a quiet place to sit, either on the floor or chair, keeping your head, neck, and back straight, yet not stiff. Try to keep your mind in the present.
Become increasingly conscious of your breathing, feeling your belly rise and fall and noticing each breath change.
Notice your thoughts come and go, without judgment, trying to use your breathing as an anchor. Keep bringing your mind back to your breath.
At the end of your allotted time, sit for a few minutes becoming aware of your environment and slowly getting up.

Relaxation Response

Find a quiet place to sit comfortably and relax your muscles.
Choose a word or phrase that has special meaning for you and helps you feel peaceful. If none come to mind, try “Ham Sah,” a Sanskrit mantra meaning “I am that.”
While breathing in, slowly state the mantra, making the sound “hammm” as you breathe in and “saah” as you exhale, as if you are sighing.
Breathe slowly, pausing after inhaling and exhaling.
Don’t judge how you are doing and when thoughts intrude, simply return to your repetition.
When ending your meditation, focus on your breathing and sit quietly, slowing becoming aware of your environment and getting up gradually.

Source: About.com: Alternative Medicine

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Attitude, Finding Meaning Comments Off

Nov 252009

It is wonderful to think as we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, all that we are thankful for. It is good to think about that everyday, and Thanksgiving is a reminder for us to do that. The more thankful we are of elements in our life, the greater these elements will increase. It is part of the law of attraction. We will attract more to be thankful for. I am reminded of a story of two priests. They were in a similar situation. One cursed the situation around him, and the other was thankful for it. The one who was negative found himself in a bigger negative situation, while the positive one found much more to be thankful. It was as if God wanted to prove to both that things could be worse and that things could be much better, too.

I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving and hope that you are able to find much in your life to be grateful for and watch it multiply.

Tree-Trimming

Gardening, Recycling, Simplicity Comments Off

Nov 192009

On Monday, we got our three trees trimmed, probably for the very first time for them, and me. Trimming trees is not something I would think about, as much as I like to garden and do yard work. Although I bought this home partly for the two big majestic trees in the back and have enjoyed watching the antics of my resident squirrels and then my cat in the trees, I didn’t notice some of their issues, which required a trim. I have mostly been the one to trim the areas that can easily be reached, and kept those areas groomed.

It has been my husband who has been their advocate. He noticed when some areas looked like they were dying off and determined that a trimming was needed. He called in some professionals, got different opinions and estimates. It was confirmed that they needed to be trimmed or they would die within about seven years. Although we don’t plan on living in the house that long, we decided it needed to be done and the trimmers finally arrived two days ago. Two men spent about eight hours trimming them. It was mesmerizing watching them scale the trunks and go at them with their chain saws and axes.

Now we are enjoying looking out and seeing our well-groomed trees. I think I may have even become a little bit of a “tree snob” as I look to my neighbors’ trees and realize that perhaps they could use some trimming.

As an additional unexpected treat, I ended up with all the mulch from the branches. Using the mulch from our trees in the yard has been a great way to recycle the trimming. During Maya’s naps the past few days, I have been out in my yard spreading the mulch. It has been meditative, a good work-out, and productive at the same time as I see my yard looking better and know that I am making some gardening improvements since the soil will be better and the trees and other plants will be protected.

Porter admiring a papaya tree in front of a relative's home in my Indian village.

Rituals

Children, Finding Meaning, Parenting, Self-Care Comments Off

Nov 182009

Being bi-cultural, I’ve had to give some thought to the rituals and holidays I want to incorporate for my family. Not living in India, it is challenging to celebrate Indian holidays to the level I would like. Sometimes, I am not able to remember or keep up with certain Indian holidays if I don’t see reminders somewhere, such as the Indian store. This is not an issue for Western holidays of course. There are reminders everywhere. Even though Thanksgiving has not arrived yet, we are all being reminded of Christmas. Culturally, I am fine with holidays that I grew up with here in the US playing a bigger part. All the holidays of any culture celebrate something nice, centered around love. Any language or culture that is expressed in is fine with me. With that in mind, I admit I enjoy the spirit of the Christmas season. I take part in decorating my home, singing Christmas carols with my family, and celebrating at my Unitarian church, along with baking what I can. Despite these rituals, I still consider myself a Unitarian and Hindu. If I were in India, the holidays and related celebrations there would get more prominence in my home.

Outside of the major holidays, I try to incorporate other rituals for my family. One ritual we have started is to celebrate my infant daughter’s monthly birthdays. Since she was born on the 8th, we celebrate the 8th of every month. Recently, for her 9-month celebration on November 8th, I cooked food I knew she would enjoy (spaghetti, which is fun finger food for her) and other goodies for us. She received toys and we sang and danced to the song we have decided is hers from us, Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours.” We have been singing this to her since the beginning of her life, and she seems to recognize it.

As an outcome of Maya’s monthly celebrations, I thought we should celebrate my son’s, so he is not left out. Then I thought why leave out my husband and I? With that in mind, My husband is celebrating his monthly birthday today, since he was born on the 18th. So yesterday was Colin’s Day and today is Porter’s Day. I’ve already put it on the calendar for next month and am looking forward to my day on the 9th. The rule is that you get to do whatever you want (within reason) and get an excuse to treat yourself. So my husband would say he had a good start this morning, which included not having to drop my son off to school since a neighbor started doing so. My daughter slept through the night and we got decent sleep as a result. Then he treated himself to the lunch he wanted and he gets to do whatever he wants tonight, which will probably include tennis since it is not too cold today, along with having the dinner and dessert he wants.

Since we didn’t realize it was Colin’s day yesterday until the evening, he is getting part of the day today for himself. That means Mom is doing everything! All the chores fall on me. Although, I am looking forward to tomorrow, the 19th, as it is no one’s day, I am also looking forward to Pria’s Day on the 9th. It is nice to have a day per month to do nice things for ourselves guilt-free and have a day to always look forward to!

Porter and Maya on a nice September day at church.

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