Pria Acharya

Anger Management Thought

 Personal Growth  Comments Off on Anger Management Thought
Sep 192012
 

A great thought from the Blue Mountain Center of Meditation:

Eknath Easwaran’s Thought for the Day

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
– Proverbs

In the interest of good health, in the interest of a long life, in the interest of loving relationships, it is essential to learn how to deal with our anger creatively and constructively. If we do not, in time it will no longer be isolated outbursts of anger; we will become the victims of an unending stream of rage, seething just below the surface of life, with which no human being can cope.

Through meditation and the mantram every one of us can learn to reduce the speed of our thinking, and install a reliable speedometer in our mind. Then, whenever the speed of thinking goes over, say, fifty-five, one of those recorded voices will automatically whisper, “Be careful. You may not be able to keep your car on the road.”

Positive thoughts travel slowly, leisurely. The slow mind is clear, kind, and efficient; in the beautiful phrase of the Bible, it is “slow to wrath.” Patience means thoughts puttering along like Sunday drivers, taking the trouble to notice the needs of people around.

Father’s age is linked to rise in Autism

 Autism, Causes, Children  Comments Off on Father’s age is linked to rise in Autism
Aug 232012
 

According to results from a study reported yesterday, a father’s age is linked to the possible development of Autism.  Below is an excerpt from the article discussing this from the NY Times:

“Older men are more likely than young ones to father a child who develops autism or schizophrenia, because of random mutations that become more numerous with advancing paternal age, scientists reported on Wednesday, in the first study to quantify the effect as it builds each year. The age of mothers had no bearing on the risk for these disorders, the study found.

Experts said that the finding was hardly reason to forgo fatherhood later in life, though it might have some influence on reproductive decisions. The overall risk to a man in his 40s or older is in the range of 2 percent, at most, and there are other contributing biological factors that are entirely unknown.

But the study, published online in the journal Nature, provides support for the argument that the surging rate of autism diagnoses over recent decades is attributable in part to the increasing average age of fathers, which could account for as many as 20 to 30 percent of cases.

The findings also counter the longstanding assumption that the age of the mother is the most important factor in determining the odds of a child having developmental problems. The risk of chromosomal abnormalities, like Down syndrome, increases for older mothers, but when it comes to some complex developmental and psychiatric problems, the lion’s share of the genetic risk originates in the sperm, not the egg, the study found.

Previous studies had strongly suggested as much, including an analysis published in April that found that this risk was higher at age 35 than 25 and crept up with age. The new report quantifies that risk for the first time, calculating how much it accumulates each year.

The research team found that the average child born to a 20-year-old father had 25 random mutations that could be traced to paternal genetic material. The number increased steadily by two mutations a year, reaching 65 mutations for offspring of 40-year-old men.”

HF Autism/Aspergers clarifications

 Autism, Causes, Children  Comments Off on HF Autism/Aspergers clarifications
Aug 232012
 

There is a lot of confusion about autism and its symptoms.  Parents aren’t sure what to look for as indicators and educators aren’t generally trained to know the different signs at different levels of the spectrum.  There is a saying within the autism community:  “When you know one child with autism, you know one child with autism.”

Following is one description, that may not seem typical, that describes symptoms that my 3 year-old has displayed:

  • “A general lack of fear or fearlessness may be evident, and children with autism may talk openly with strangers, hug strangers, invade people’s personal space, bump into peers in lines, touch or climb people inappropriately, or have excessive or a complete lack of separation anxiety from parents or caregivers (Mayes, 2008).”
    • My daughter has shown a complete lack of separation anxiety, has shown inappropriate fearlessness (making my heart pound at playgrounds), and has been inappropriately open with strangers.  Other signs that match my daughter and teen son, but don’t seem obvious, include:
  • An extreme perfectionism or “having to finish” what they have started, to the point of tantrums, may be evident especially during unexpected or unwanted transitions (Mayes, 2008).
  • They may have problems falling asleep, or staying asleep.
  • Children who are overly reactive to crowds and commotion may appear uncomfortable or avoidant of cafeterias, malls, gymnasiums, parties, family gatherings or even theaters (Mayes, 2008)
  • Communication may not appear to be delayed, but comprehension, social language requiring give and take may be lacking, an unusual tone or quality, rote or repetitive speech may present.
  • Blurting out, excessively asking the same question over and over, echoing or mimicking, large vocabulary, or difficulty listening to another and understanding another perspective can be apparent.
  • Some people with high functioning autism or Asperger’s Syndrome demonstrate extreme abilities in remembering facts, numbers, phone numbers, maps, words, birth dates, or other factual information.
    • I’ve seen this in both my kids.  The other day, my 3 year-old commented on a boy she saw at my son’s school as being his friend after only briefly seeing him with my son the previous day, surrounded by many children.
  • They may appear very rigid in their point of view, and unable to accept or understand another’s perspective. They may appear to never be able to “let it go,” or tend towards appearing argumentative or “splitting hairs.” A conversation can lead to tantrums, emotional meltdowns, or withdrawal with seemingly little provocation (Fattig, 2007).
    • This describes some interactions with my 14 year-old son diagnosed with Aspergers, who can be very argumentative and “split hairs.”  My 3 year-old can have a melt-down at the slightest suggestion of things possibly not going her way or how she expected.   Many times she is wrong – she doesn’t know that for instance, I am in the process of getting the remote to turn on her show…
  • Motor clumsiness or fine motor difficulties may be present, and intuitive physics may be higher than intuitive psycho/social abilities (Baron-Cohen, 2000), p. 16). A child may be able to dismantle and recreate elaborate lego designs, set a clock, reprogram a VCR, match shapes, or display, artistic or musical talents (Mayes, 2008, p. 2). ” Fathers of children with autism, as well as grandfathers, are over-represented in occupations such as engineering, whilst being under-represented in occupations such as social work.  Engineering is a clear example of an occupation that requires good folk (intuitive) physics,” (Baron-Cohen, 2000, p. 16).
    • Both of my children have struggled with clumsiness.  It was considered it may be due to their height – both 90-100%.  My son broke his arm when he was 2 after climbing a chair to switch lights on and off (a symptom, which I didn’t know then) and slipped, falling wrong on his arm.  He would fall while standing in line.  More recently, he has had concussions from soccer.  My daughter has regular band-aids after falls from walking and not looking where she is walking.
    • My teen son wants to be an engineer.  My father was an engineer.
  • Children with high functioning autism or Asperger’s Syndrome are “limited in brain areas that enable people to understand subtle cues,” (Hoover, 2006, p. 1), and often misunderstandings, literal interpretation, and/or sensory over stimulation can lead to overreactions, irritability, a low frustration tolerance, tantrums, aggressiveness, appearing to have an explosive (or bipolar) temperament, self stimulation, anxiety, depression, or self injury (Mayes, 2008, p. 2). Children with high functioning autism or Asperger’s Syndrome develop a tendency of distrust towards others, because of social failures and negative social experiences over time, which can lead to self-isolation and social phobia. This behavioral reaction can be viewed as “rude” by others, and often people on the spectrum struggle to understand why they are not liked or frequently feel rejected (Hoover, 2006, p. 1).

Source:  Disabled World – Disability News for all the Family: http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/article_2255.shtml#ixzz24Om7cBEP

Encouragement from Raleigh to Aurora

 Attitude, Causes, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose, Gratitude, Musing on Death, Philosophy  Comments Off on Encouragement from Raleigh to Aurora
Aug 082012
 

As an employee of the city of Aurora in CO, my husband has come across lots of words of sympathy and encouragement from around the world.  Following is an encouraging letter from the city of Raleigh to the city of Aurora following the recent shooting.

Subject: Words of Encouragement from Raleigh, NC

 

Yesterday afternoon I attended a matinee viewing of The Dark Knight Rises, the final movie in the Batman trilogy; the unfortunate setting for the tragic act of violence during the movie’s midnight premier in your city, Aurora, Colorado. I, like so many others, have been following the unfolding of the theatre shooting and have felt a pull of singularity similar to the immediate reaction of patriotism that followed in the wake of 9/11. Sharing in the horror and impact of the intent and actions of one man I became immediately aware of my own fleeting life upon entering my local theatre. As the previews began my eyes searched for the emergency exits, and I took particular notice of every person who entered the room (all ten of them at that early time of day). During the first few minutes of the movie a rattling of gunfire on the screen made me alert and agitated, echoing the tragic testimonies shared of an audience who quickly diverted their attention from fantasy to reality in an effort to save and protect loved ones and themselves. I thought to myself, should I have come? But as the plot continued I became enraptured by the villainous mind of Bain, the sheer hopelessness of Gotham City, and the contemplative genius of Bob Kane on the relationship between good and evil in our worlds: fiction and reality alike.  As the credits rolled up from the bottom of the screen at the conclusion of the movie, I sat recovering from being emotionally invested in the outcome of the plot and reflecting upon the men and women who are struggling to find solace and understanding in the aftermath of the Aurora tragedy. The truth is the movie made me think only of Aurora.  The character Bruce Wayne repeatedly remarks on his identity being only a suit that anyone can wear. In an epic moment of dialogue during the plot the audience is reminded that a hero can be found in a single moment,  “A hero can be anyone, even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a young boy’s shoulders to let him know the world hasn’t ended (Bruce Wayne as Batman).” Although it is tempting to idolize the fictional Batman as the ultimate hero, there is a resounding distinction between the heroes of fiction and the heroes of our reality. The men, women and children who are picking up the aftermath of the Aurora tragedy are the heroes of our present day. Aurora has a nation of support surrounding them, cheering “rise!” as we watch a community climb out of the darkness of such tragedy. Aurora, I stand with a nation that is shouting cheers full of hope for you, that this tragedy will make you stronger as you search for answers, struggle with prayers, and learn the art of survival that follows great loss. Jonathan Blunk, Alexander Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt MacQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, and Rebecca Wingo are names engraved on my heart.

I could not help but to think of Aurora and the victims of that horrible night, and know that an entire nation is doing the same, as these words are echoed in theatres across the world, “I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss. I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy. I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. It is a far, far better thing that I do, that I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.” Aurora, this is a moment for heroes, and we are all looking at you: a beautiful city, a brilliant people, a community that will rise from this abyss.

 

Sincerely,

Raleigh, NC.

Sad day for CO

 Finding Meaning, Gratitude, Loss, Outlook, Philosophy, Spirituality, Thoughts  1 Response »
Jul 202012
 

I along with fellow Colorado residents woke up this morning to the sad news of another shooting.  I’m sure many that are at least as old as me were transported to that day when there was breaking news of Columbine.  My now 14 year-old teen was an infant as I, a new mom then, was trying to reconcile the world my child was born into…He of course does not remember that day as he connects with fellow teens on what has occurred today.  I wonder what they are saying and how they comfort one another with their limited time on this planet.  I’m not certain how the rest of us console one another.

I don’t know what experience in this world teaches us about these events.  It is particularly hard to hear and understand when the victims are children.  In this case, even a three-month old.  Spiritually and as a mom, this is particularly difficult.  I’m sure all moms would want to hug and hold this child’s mom along with the moms of the other children, such as a six year-old and fourteen year-old (that could have been my teen).  One victim had survived a previous shooting.  She had a strange feeling and had walked out of a mall just before the shooting.

A common difficult feeling most of us feel during times like these is that of helplessness.  In this case, it occurred at midnight, when most of us were sleeping.  It was the first thing I heard about when barely awake, before my first cup of coffee.  But life had to go on, we had to get ready for work and get our daughter ready for daycare.  As the day wore on, we learned more.  The children that lost lives, from 3 months to 14 years.  My child’s beloved daycare teacher’s husband was there, covering a teen boy with his body to shield him.  A City of Aurora employee, my spouse can see the theater from his building at the Aurora Municipal Center.  This tragedy will impact him and his colleagues even more.  I imagine there would be permanent changes to their work culture and how they view their jobs and city.

It is strange to think I was just at the Aurora Municipal Center the previous weekend with our daughter to attend the city’s kid festival, “Kidspree,”  where my husband was volunteering.  There was a huge turn-out from Aurora and the focus was on innocence and fun for the kids.  Some Aurora police officers were there, on their bikes, with not much to do but enjoy the event.  Kids were on the karaoke machine back to back, belting out songs including those from Adele.

One of the thoughts that comes next for most us is regarding what, if anything, we can do.  From a big picture, it is challenging.  How can such a tragedy be prevented?  Are the violent movies to blame?  Is there inadequate or not enough mental health services?  How and why did this student get to this stage?  Is this another case of a “lost” boy as mentioned during Columbine?  Are we not taking adequate care of some of our boys so they can grow up to be caring and responsible members of society?  These are tough, complicated questions with probable tough, complicated answers.  At the same time, such questions and others should be asked and answers should be sought, however complicated they may be.

In the meantime, there are pragmatic, immediate actions that can be done to help if desired.  The American Red Cross Mile High Chapter is seeking donations to help the families displaced or hurt by this violence.  The Bonfils Blood Center is requesting donations of O-Negative and A-Negative blood to help them restore their bank following the numerous surgeries related to injuries sustained during the shooting.

This tragedy reminds us to hold our loved ones close, count our blessings, and to be appreciative of our fragile time here.

Resources for kid activities & camps in Denver

 Children, Parenting  Comments Off on Resources for kid activities & camps in Denver
May 052012
 

Still trying to figure out what to do with your kids this summer?  The summer can be a stressful time if you have kids and need to work outside the home.  It can be quite the juggling act as you coordinate dates, transportation and expenses.

As much as possible, stay organized and try to fit in some flexibility wherever possible.  Often, a better camp opportunity may come up after you’ve just booked one.  You want to be able to cancel if needed and get your funds back.

As you figure out what to do with your kids while you work, here are some resources to consider:

Colorado Kids

Denver Post 2012 Summer Camps Listing (Part 1)

Summer Camps 2012:  Day Camps – Part 2

Mile Hi Mamas – recommendations

Some sites will allow you to create a “scheduler,” which will allow you to select different camps the company offers to fill in your time.  An example is Colorado Academy.  An option to consider to fill in gaps between camps can be to utilize your area’s recreation center.  Many offer summer programs that you can take advantage of weekly, part-time or drop-in at affordable prices.  This can give you some flexibility as well since you can pick and choose the days you may want your child to attend.  Maybe there is a particular field trip that interests your child.

Unfortunately, many camps and other summer activities are filling up, so act fast!

Ways to save money on house cleaning

 Environment, Finances, Fitness, Green Living, Saving Money, Weightloss  1 Response »
Apr 192012
 

With a challenging economy, there is an inclination to try to save money wherever possible.  One area of your life you can easily save money is on house cleaning.

The most obvious way to save money if it applies to you is to stop paying someone else to do it for you.  There are many way to efficiently clean your house and save money at the same time.  As a bonus, you will be burning more calories and losing weight.

Here are some tips to get you started with saving money on your house cleaning:

 

  • Use mild dish soap or water for general cleaning around the house.  Mild dish soap can clean most areas of your home such as your kitchen and carpet stains.  Hot water also works well on carpet stains.
  • Buy in bulk and use store coupons.  Being a member of a warehouse club like Costco or Sam’s Club can help save money on cleaning products.  It is ok to buy cleaning products in bulk since they have a long shelf life.
  • Clean regularly to avoid having bigger messes that are harder to clean later.  As soon as you see a spill or mess, clean it up.
  • Use reusable cloths whenever possible.  When clothes become unusable, cut them up to use as rags around the house rather than using paper towels.  Use dish cloths for wiping counters and spills instead of paper towels.
  • Simplify your supplies by buying products that can do double duty.  Maybe a cleanser can clean the kitchen and bathrooms including the toilet bowls, tubs and sinks.
  • Reuse grocery plastic bags as liners for your trash cans.  You are also helping the environment by reusing any plastic bags.
  • Wash your laundry in cold water and line dry whenever possible.  This will save money on utilities.
  • Run the dishwasher only when it is full.  This will save on your utility bills and make the process of taking dishes in and out of the dishwasher more efficient since you will do it less often.
  • Make your own cleaning supplies using items you have around the house like baking soda and vinegar.  Baking soda can also be used to reduce odors anywhere by placing some in a small glass jar half full.
  • Reduce clutter.  When you have less stuff, you have less stuff to clean and maintain, saving you time and money.  Buying less stuff also saves your money.  Selling some of your current stuff also brings in more money!
  • Have your kids help.  Your kids learn responsibility and you save money on hiring cleaners!

The autism battle

 Autism  Comments Off on The autism battle
Apr 042012
 

It is challenging to hear the diagnosis that your child is on the autism spectrum.  According to CDC, the rate is now 1 in 88 versus 1 in 117.  The pattern has been that the rates are going up.  I have heard of the diagnosis for both of my children in the past year – first my 3 year-old in July 2011, then my 13 year-old this past December.  If we felt clueless about parenting before, the diagnosis leaves us even more lost.  I am still looking for my parenting manual, which seems to keep getting out-dated all the time anyway.

What you also realize with the diagnosis is that you have a new part-time, unpaid and frustrating job.  You seek out help only to get resistance.  Your insurance company will tell you services are not covered that you find out later should be.  Schools will try to find the quickest way to get your child’s IEP done if they do it at all.  For anything you hope to accomplish, you must push, prod, strategize and fight at times.

All of this will leave you exhausted at different levels.  You will realize that along with the diagnosis, you needed a mentor to help you navigate this new unpaved path.  You soon realize that priority one may be to find support from those who have already tried to muddle their way through this difficult path.

CDC Report

No more non-stick cookware

 Children, Cooking, Environment, Green Living, Health  Comments Off on No more non-stick cookware
Feb 142012
 

Over the weekend, while multi-tasking as any mom must do, I started to cook by turning on the stove and placing a pot on the stove.  I was then going to put ingredients in, but the phone rang so I went to answer it.  In the meantime, my empty pot started heating up and I was distracted by my call.

Within a few minutes, I could smell fumes from the pot.  I put on ventilators, put could still smell it.  My daughter soon got up from her nap and complained of being tired and sick.  Later, she vomited.  It is possible she picked up a bug from preschool, but it is also possible she developed symptoms from the fumes of the non-stick cookware.

I had purchased a better cookware set within the year and was aware of not heating up an empty pot due to potential fumes.  At this point, I did not want to risk accidentally having this occur ever again.  After doing some research, I decided to go with cast-iron and purchased some reasonably-priced cookware from Target.  I will also use stainless steel and glass for baking.  I have some steel cookware and will eventually replace my bakeware.

Do the research for yourself and make the best choice for yourself.  There is much on-line regarding the topic.  I did not want to risk even the constant emmission from regular everyday cooking with teflon and potential carcinogenic effects.  The addition of extra iron from cooking on cast-iron was attractive and am beginning to love using the pans for their even controlled heating as well.

Definition of autism being modified

 Autism, Children, Parenting  Comments Off on Definition of autism being modified
Jan 242012
 

My amazing kids

There was an interesting article in The New York Times recently (published 1/19/12) about autism.  According to the article, the definition of autism is being modified, which would mean some would not meet the criteria for the diagnosis.

<Proposed changes in the definition of autism would sharply reduce the skyrocketing rate at which the disorder is diagnosed and might make it harder for many people who would no longer meet the criteria to get health, educational and social services, a new analysis suggests.

The definition is now being reassessed by an expert panel appointed by the American Psychiatric Association, which is completing work on the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the first major revision in 17 years. The D.S.M., as the manual is known, is the standard reference for mental disorders, driving research, treatment and insurance decisions. Most experts expect that the new manual will narrow the criteria for autism; the question is how sharply.

The results of the new analysis are preliminary, but they offer the most drastic estimate of how tightening the criteria for autism could affect the rate of diagnosis. For years, many experts have privately contended that the vagueness of the current criteria for autism and related disorders like Asperger syndrome was contributing to the increase in the rate of diagnoses — which has ballooned to one child in 100, according to some estimates.

The psychiatrists’ association is wrestling with one of the most agonizing questions in mental health — where to draw the line between unusual and abnormal — and its decisions are sure to be wrenching for some families. At a time when school budgets for special education are stretched, the new diagnosis could herald more pitched battles. Tens of thousands of people receive state-backed services to help offset the disorders’ disabling effects, which include sometimes severe learning and social problems, and the diagnosis is in many ways central to their lives. Close networks of parents have bonded over common experiences with children; and the children, too, may grow to find a sense of their own identity in their struggle with the disorder.

The proposed changes would probably exclude people with a diagnosis who were higher functioning. “I’m very concerned about the change in diagnosis, because I wonder if my daughter would even qualify,” said Mary Meyer of Ramsey, N.J. A diagnosis of Asperger syndrome was crucial to helping her daughter, who is 37, gain access to services that have helped tremendously. “She’s on disability, which is partly based on the Asperger’s; and I’m hoping to get her into supportive housing, which also depends on her diagnosis.”

The new analysis, presented Thursday at a meeting of the Icelandic Medical Association, opens a debate about just how many people the proposed diagnosis would affect.

The changes would narrow the diagnosis so much that it could effectively end the autism surge, said Dr. Fred R. Volkmar, director of the Child Study Center at the Yale School of Medicine and an author of the new analysis of the proposal. “We would nip it in the bud.”>

This is more interesting and personal to me because exactly a week ago, my thirteen year-old son was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.  I wonder if he was tested in a year, whether he would meet the criteria.  This comes six months after hearing of my two year-old’s diagnosis of high-functioning autism.  I am still trying to understand the full scope of what she has and what I can do to address it.  I now need to do the same for my son.

Today is interesting and unique because I have a meeting this afternoon to work on my daughter’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) with the district, while a meeting for the same is occurring for my son at his school.  I need to be focused on my daughter’s 12-page IEP for now so I can best advocate for her.  Soon I will need to shift my focus on the specifics of my son’s plan.  It is quite a mental shift to think about what a preschooler needs and then what a teen needs.

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