Pria Acharya

Passport Hell

Finding balance, Goals, Philosophy, Travel, vacation Comments Off

Jun 282011

My dual background

Recently, we planned a trip to the Maya Riviera area in Mexico. We were excited about some beach time – it had been a while. My kids and I have never been to Mexico. Then I realized that my passport still had my maiden name, but the rest of my documents and my ticket were in my married name. I had an extended visa in this passport, which I didn’t want to lose in a renewal. I got various information, such as needing to contact the Indian embassy and also that I just needed to present both passports – the updated and the one with the visa.

I made an appointment with a local post office that processed passports, taking my toddler with me on May 19. Although I could send in the paperwork, I wanted to make sure all documents were reviewed and that there would be no issues. The appointment went smoothly and I was told I would not have to expedite the process (and pay more); there was plenty of time before my July 3 departure. I was told I could check online regarding the status and could expedite later if needed. This sounded reasonable. It cost $110, whereas it would have been free had I processed the update within a year of marriage.

End of June approached and I did not receive my passport. I looked online and called several times. I was told it was in process and to call in a few days. The agents could not give me details and finally sent a note to those processing it. Then I got a letter on the 23rd stating an original marriage certificate was needed (apparently what I sent and was approved at the post office was a copy and not acceptable). I called to determine my options. I was ready and willing to overnight it, and pay for expediting, but wanted to make sure I would get it back in time, which I could not be assured of.

The final option was to start over and get a new passport with my local passport agency and get the passport within 72 hours. It would cost $195. I was able to get an appointment the following day. I had a lengthy medical appointment for my daughter in the area, and was able to have my husband relieve me for the appointment time. I was fortunately given credit for my previous payment and was charged $60 for expediting – although had I been informed of the need for the original, I could have sent it in and not started over.

Today, June 28, it finally got processed and is in my possession, just 4 days before departure! Our upcoming trip is more of a reality now. It has been extra stressful trying to go on vacation! The moral of this story for me is to not wait or delay on tasks like passport updates/renewals, etc. when you actually have a trip planned. Don’t leave tasks on the back burner for long, as eventually, they may boil over if left unattended for too long!

Farewell My Dear Princess Pooja

Finding balance, Loss, Musing on Death, Personal Growth, Relationships, Spirituality Comments Off

Jun 062011

Pooja

My Dearest Pooja,

it feels challenging to even accept that I’m writing to you in the universe as of 6/3/11, rather than find you in my home, to tell you directly how much you have meant to me. The words have been forming, and they feel inadequate.

You have been my anchor for 15 years.
You have been part of the definition of my existence.
My daily script included you.
We have been extremely loyal to each other and have been there together during ups and downs. I nursed you through a life-threatening dog attack, hip surgery and various life changes, as you nursed me by being my constant, loving companion, though bossy and ornery at times, just as I was.

Dear Pooja, how do I continue my loyalty to you now? How do I continue to take care of you now? This phase doesn’t fit in the script of my life and function with you. Where do I go from here?

I am not and was not ready for the story of you and me to end. Maybe you knew that and you left me on a Friday when my husband could help that weekend with my daughter so I could grieve and also leaving after my son was out of school, as he will be there tomorrow when my husband goes back to work. He is also spared having to face school during this time of healing.

I can not be mad at you because that would make me not loyal and devoted to you. But I have felt mad at something for taking you away from me in a way that I can’t even get you back. There is not a chance of reunion in this lifetime for me and when you got lost and I found you at the shelter.

Your passing does not have a solution like your previous wounds; I can not fix it, and I am not in control. That must be part of the loyal, parental anger I feel. I would not desert you and I would find you to the end of the Earth, as I know you would do for me. But you are not on this Earth now and I have been paralyzed and lost with grief and shock. Now what? How do I march forward without you by my side?

You have been the security blanket I’ve unknowingly had for 15 years. All was well at a basic, constant level when you were in the picture. You helped me feel secure, grounded, centered, and loved. It is hard to look at any space in my home and notice that you are not in it. With you in my life, the days seemed sunnier, the flowers felt prettier, and smelled nicer. I cared more about having my plants grow and enjoying the warmer weather with you. I enjoyed the breeze through you, watching you sniff it, basking in the sun and environment around you in our back yard, just within the past week. How do I experience and enjoy life without you?

Your deteriorating health sent me to tears, as I was forced to consider the inevitable with your age. Reading about potential help with your ailments (that I was aware of) gave me hope, which I held to as you went to see the vet this Friday, 6/3. I assumed you would come home that night with medication to fix things, and I would continue my regimen of caring for you and the rest of my kids. I was not prepared to consider you may not come home. Now I try to conjure up every moment of that day, as it ended up being my last with you. Had I known it would be, would it be easier? Or is it like children getting a vaccination shot, when you may not want them to know the exact moment and be distracted, to lessen the pain and fear of anticipation?

Your loyalty extended to my children, whom you watched enter the world, grow, and love you. You chose to sleep near me at the end of the day, every single day, even when your back legs were failing you recently, and you would push your body up to your spot in my room and life. When we limited how much you pushed your body by restricting you and you stopped protesting with your barks; I was filled with sadness, knowing your were resigning to a new phase. This was not the Pooja I knew, and I was scared.

I am so sorry for being so bad at letting you go, and if that caused you further suffering and a heavier burden. I’m sorry for my selfishness in thinking there would not ever be a good time for you to go. You ended up looking after me even in your passing by ensuring I was with the support I needed.

As much as I hurt in losing you, I will never regret the love you brought in my life and that of my family the past 15 years, which will always be a part of me. You have blessed me and my family immeasurably. Thank you, Pooja, you are a “prayer” answered, as your name means. I pray that I will see you someday, in your peak physical form, flying through the air to catch a frisbee and chasing tennis balls.

Tennis balls will remind me of you along with everything else. For now, just waking up, breathing and looking at anything reminds me of you. My heart aches and feels empty at the same time. I don’t want to be disloyal by not thinking about you and letting you go in anyway feels disloyal. Giving up your body felt disloyal. I will never be able to feel your soft ears that felt like the plant lamb’s ear in my yard.

Two weekends ago, I was noticing your triangular ears perked up as you were lounging next to my husband in the park. You did not look aged. You were beautiful, majestic, serene, and proud. Looking into your eyes felt like I was looking at an old soul and that you could see my soul. I am grateful for choosing to look into those eyes as you passed from this world. And then I looked at the dreaded sight of your body not going up and down with breath. You were still. Your eyes and gaze remained the same.

Pooja, I will love you forever. You are a part of me and my family and always will be. I will be honoring you every time I love and nurture my family that I will always be loyal to, as you have been. Rest in peace, my Princess Pooja and now my angel.

Pooja, Colin, and Bhalloo 1/18/10

Morning Rice

Children, Cooking, Raising Vegetarian Children, Recipes, vegan, Vegetarianism Comments Off

May 232011

Morning Rice

It’s National Vegetarian Week! Hooray! In honor, I want to share a simple breakfast recipe that I made this morning. I was hoping my two year-old toddler would appreciate it. But of course it is a mystery what she will take to or not.

At first she didn’t want to try it because she didn’t recognize it (I assume), but eventually, she was won over, possibly by the fragrance of vanilla and cinnamon.

I wish that I could give proper credit to the source, but it was just on my calendar for the month of May, so I have been eyeing it all month, waiting to make it when I had cooked brown rice handy. Making the brown rice in the morning before my toddler wakes at 6 is a bit much to ask. Just trying to get my caffeine in by then is a feat.

I doubled the ingredients for my family of 4. I left the peeling on the apples, which was fine with my family.

The dish can easily be made vegan with the use of non-dairy milk.

portion: 1 serving

Ingredients

1/2 cup cooked brown rice
1/4 cup lowfat milk or soymilk
1 apple, peeled, cored, and finely chopped
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp cinnamon

Mix all ingredients in a microwave safe bowl (or on the stove). Heat on high for 1-2 minutes or until heated through.

Nutritional info (per serving): calories – 220, fat – 1.5g, protein – 4.7g, carb – 48g, fiber – 7g, calcium – 92mg, iron 1 mg, vitamin A – 35mcg, vitamin c – 5mg, folate – 4 mcg

The Best Peach Cobbler

Cooking, Dessert, Recipes Comments Off

May 122011

peach cobbler

My husband and I are both from the south, so that means there are some foods, like grits and peach cobbler, that hold a special place in our hearts. He is particularly fond of peaches and we had plenty of canned and jarred, so I made a peach cobbler recently.

I had tried different recipes in the past and the one I used tonight so far surpasses the others. It was simple and did what the directions said it would do – that the batter would rise to the top and browned nicely. It also didn’t seem to take as long to bake as a previous recipe.

Ingredients

1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup milk
2 cups fresh peaches, pitted and sliced
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 1/2 cups water

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly butter a 9×9 inch glass baking pan.
In a large bowl, cream the butter and 1/2 cup sugar.
In a separate bowl, mix flour, salt and baking powder. Add to the creamed mixture alternately with the milk.
Spread mixture evenly into baking dish .
If using canned peaches, drain thoroughly, reserving the juice. Spoon fruit over batter.
Sprinkle with cinnamon and 1/4 cup sugar. Pour fruit juice or water over the top.
Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 45 to 55 minutes. During baking the fruit and juice go to the bottom and the batter rises.

Nutritional Information

Amount Per Serving Calories: 262 | Total Fat: 8.3g | Cholesterol: 22mg

perfectly baked peach cobbler

Source: All Recipes

Raviolis rule with kids of all ages

Children, Cooking, Recipes, Vegetarianism Comments Off

May 062011

Raviolis stuffed with spinach in a tomato sauce

Trying to please the appetites of a 12 year-old and two year-old vegetarian kid at the same time is not always easy.

This is where pasta comes in to the rescue. There are a variety of pastas, and the one my kids probably like best is raviolis stuffed with spinach and cheese. This also works for me to try to get vegetables in my toddler.

Although spinach has fortunately not been much of a problem for her, particularly when it’s been sauteed with olive oil.

My son was off school today, so I made them the ravioli. They both ate a lot. Fortunately for me, it was easy and I took a shortcut by not boiling the raviolis separately. I sauteed diced tomatoes in plenty of olive oil with minced garlic, salt, black pepper, Italian seasonings and then paprika.

If you use canned diced tomatoes, you probably don’t need to add water. If you use fresh (I used a combo), add a little water. I added the raviolis and let them cook in this sauce, covered. I added some chives and cilantro at the end as garnish. I served it with Parmesan cheese. My mission of getting a balanced and satisfying meal in my kids is accomplished! (for now)

The Butterfly Experiment

Goals, Outlook, Philosophy, Spirituality Comments Off

May 022011

At the Butterfly Pavillion in Denver

I’m on day 1 of an interesting experiment that I have not done exactly right and have already seen the desired result. The experiment is about manifestation and personal transformation.

The process utilizes the spiritual laws of attraction. This is about the idea that what you focus on expands or comes to you. This means that if you focus on gratitude for that which you already have, it should expand. Unfortunately, it also means that if you focus on something you’re unhappy about, that too will expand.

One of the “tricks” of manifestation is that if you are hoping for more of something like money, you can’t curse the lack of it in your life at the same time that you desire more. So, in the spirit of fun and spiritual adventure, I decided to try this experiment in manifestation and the laws of attraction. The premise is that by focusing on something tangible and simple like butterflies, you should be able to bring them into your life in some form, even if it’s a mention in a song or an image on a card.

So day 1 of the experiment called for 5-15 minutes of meditation (I did about 1 minute) and 17 seconds of visualizing butterflies (although I didn’t time it, I believe I managed this). I planned on doing more of the meditation tonight. Motherhood beckoned and I had a mom’s group at my Unitarian church to get to. At the mom’s group, the preschool coordinator was asked to describe what the preschool kids would be doing today. She held up a butterfly made with tissues and a clothespin (gasp!) and proceeded to describe how the kids would be making this butterfly craft.

I thought of what a psychic had told me years ago when I was a single mom to a boy – that I was an old soul, had the gift of manifestation which I should explore, and that he saw a girl in my future. Now that I have a 2 year-old daughter, I wondered if the butterfly craft was affirming his manifestation reading about me. It’s too soon to tell, but I am intrigued and will continue with the experiment to see if I manifest more butterflies and then perhaps to other agendas (like that million dollars, which my husband fully supports trying to manifest).

Source: The Butterfly Experiment

Managing Stress

Attitude, Finding balance, Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Outlook, Philosophy, Self-Care 1 Response »

Apr 242011

Think about a relaxing waterfall.

Are you highly stressed or anxious? Stress can wreak havoc on our health in many ways. Here are some ways to manage it:

Keep Perspective

It is important to keep perspective. When you feel up, keep notes. When you feel down, take notes. When you are down, read these notes to see how you got through it, and more importantly, that you did get through it.

When you are up, enjoy it, and know that you may go down…Don’t take life too seriously! Remember that the only thing that remains constant is change, “this too shall pass.”

Laugh

Maintain a sense of humor and try to find something funny in everyday life. Be around people that make you laugh. Watch shows that make you laugh. Find as many ways as possible to laugh as much as you can daily.

Journal

Work through issues by writing down what is blocking you from the direction you want to go. Is it you or external events? What is going well? What are you grateful for? Make a list of what you want in all areas of your life. Diagram the different areas – mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. Fill in the boxes with what is working. Which block seems more empty? That area needs attention.

Develop a support system

Ensure you have adequate support to help you when times are tough. Be comfortable with utilizing professional support including life coaches in addition to friends. Even pets can be a source of comfort.

Loss and Gain

Attitude, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Gratitude, Outlook, Personal Growth, Philosophy Comments Off

Mar 312011

My sleeping gain

Lately, I’ve had to come to terms with the idea of loss more – something I think I’ve had to deal with in varying degrees with some challenging peaks. It got to an overwhelming point and I had to remind myself how I got to the other “normal” side before.

Loss is something we deal with everyday at different levels. Everyday, our bodies are 1 day older and we gradually have to let go of a previous notion of what we could expect. We become one day older and we have to let go of the previous day in order to embrace a new day and all that it offers.

One aspect of loss is that it is often one side of a coin. If we can manage to look enough, we can sometimes see the gain on the other side. I experienced this gain as I kissed my smiling toddler before she went to slept. This miraculous creature was in my life now and had not been there only two short years ago. It is true that when one door is shut, another often opens, even if we have to be patient and wait for it or try to have enough awareness to notice it.

Gardening is on the Horizon

Composting, Environment, Finding balance, Gardening Comments Off

Mar 212011

Crocus peeking out in March

Last Fall, I tried to take some gardening indoors – I put up my Topsy Turvy plant with pepper and tomato plants in my dining area, brought in some of my mint and planted some herbs.

The Topsy Turvy looks like it is barely making it to this year. I didn’t see an abundance of vegetable like I hoped – actually, none at all…It seems like it may have needed some fresh air and perhaps more fertilizer?

It’s exciting to have Winter almost behind us. I looked forward to March so I could think that April was the following month, when there is certainly much greenery. However, in Colorado, it means we can also get most of our snow now. We have no such thing as Spring showers; we have Spring snow storms. This helps prevent drought in our desert area.

I have some gardening plans this year, as always. I’ve already started expanding my bedding areas to accommodate more plants. I want to take more seriously the amendment and preparation of my soil, which can get attention now. I have been composting, but may need to look at getting an activator to speed things along. I’ve read I may need some gypsum for my clay-based soil.

The bulbs have thankfully started peaking out – purple and white crocuses that keep enduring sprinklings of snow and carry on…

I am determined to have a better harvest this year!

10 Ways to Build Trust

Communication, Finding balance, Outlook, Philosophy, Relationships Comments Off

Mar 102011

Building trust with my pets and children

All relationships are built on trust. It affects how we see others and the world, how we approach situations and how much we’re willing to do for others. High levels of trust allow us to be relaxed and at our best, while low levels make us uncomfortable. Here are ten tips to help build trust in relationships:

Keep it confidential. Be a trustworthy listener and respect the confidence placed in you by not sharing personal information.
Keep your promises and follow through with commitments. You are seen as reliable when you keep promises and follow through with commitments. Do what you say, even for small things.
Forgive and move on. You must be able to forgive and move on to build trusting relationships. Try to let go of old issues, arguments, and resentments from the past.
Realize that trust is up to you. We are responsible for building trust in relationships, especially new ones.
Trust people who are different from you. It takes much more work to trust people that hold different values, beliefs, and opinions that are different from us. Look for common interests and use inclusive language that does not alienate others.
Tell the truth. Honesty attracts trusting and trustworthy people. Admit when you are wrong and make amends as needed.
Communicate openly and honestly. Sharing information openly and honestly allows others to trust your intentions. Avoid name-calling and negative labels. Watch your body language and tone.
Be a good listener. Listening well is one of the best ways to show you care and build trust. Focus on the one talking and don’t try to accomplish other tasks at the same time.
Work at building trust when there is a problem. Talk with the person that disappointed you and find ways to trust the person in smaller ways and allow the trust to be rebuilt over time in bigger areas.
Learn to recognize whom to trust. Do not blindly trust everyone you meet. Instead, look for signs that the person can be trusted.

Source: Ceridian Corp.

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