Raising a Bright Child

Raising a bright child is dependent on what one considers to be “bright.” It is a relative term and it must first be decided exactly what end result one desires.  There is a broad spectrum of intelligence and what allows a child to be successful and happy in life.  There are “brains” out there with no social skills and unable to maintain relationships.  Is that what we want for our children?

I am the mother of a “bright” pre-teen boy.  He is enrolled in a magnet school rated “excellent” where he is above average in all subjects.  He is normally very well-mannered, loving, curious, an avid reader, and reasoning-oriented.  I have been reading to him since I was expecting him.  I have him participate in his church youth group whenever possible to help instill a sense of ethics, morality, and thinking beyond him to a bigger picture.  This is not emphasized enough in our society.  I am looking forward to a trip to India end of this year to help him get a sense of a “bigger” picture, where he will be able to see boys like himself living very different lives.

One of my main focuses for him has been providing structure through routines.  For instance, he has been expected to go to bed at a specific time which includes rituals such as mellow music and soft lighting. He participates in the maintenance of our home through chores and assigned responsibilities that allow him to be more independent.  I emphasize pride in his achievements and contributions.  “Thank you” is a phrase used often in my home.  I know that instilling a sense of internal self-direction is critical, and one that may save our relationship when he enters adolescence.  I know that I have until he is about 11 to mold and influence his identity.  After that, I will increasingly be a coach to him as he discovers, builds, and enhances his identity.

I regularly explain the reasoning behind most situations, so he can grasp cause and effect.  I hold him accountable for his actions and choices, as I do myself.  I demonstrate fairness and equity.  I let him feel pain, sadness, caring, and empathy.  He has experienced the loss of two pets in the last few years.  Neither has been “replaced” yet to allow him to fully experience this part of life, rather than “covering” it up, which is often the tendency in our society.  I imagine him one day to be a man that is comfortable with his emotions and is strong enough to handle loss, or at least to move through it gracefully.

To further allow him to embrace his emotions and ability to express himself, I plan to enroll him in drama classes this summer.  He already has on his summer agenda to learn how to cook various dishes (his future wife will thank me!) and delve into my hobby of photography with me.  I want to show him the beauty I see.  Most of all, I want to always remember that he has been “bright” since he was born, and it is up to me to see who he is, appreciate him, while learning from him.