balance - Pria's Ponderings

My suburban garden

Finding balance, Gardening Comments Off

Apr 132010

My beloved irisis that beckon Spring

Gardening has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember. I’ve always been fascinated by things growing and nurturing them. It must have to do with having a nurturing quality that maybe all gardening enthusiasts share.

Gardening Joys

It’s exciting and rewarding to nurture something to its full potential and enjoy the results, whether in appearance and aroma as with flowers or by enjoying its taste with vegetables. There is the added sense of productivity one gets with successfully growing something edible that they can enjoy and share with family and friends. It may even be a cost-saving measure, particularly in today’s economic climate. We are reminded of victory gardens and feel a sense of empowerment in being able to grow our own food. We not only save money (not always!); we can also appreciate knowing that our family is eating something fresh and possibly pesticide-free.

My Gardening Experience

I am not quite an expert gardener. I just enjoy getting my hands dirty and am very interested in learning all I can and continuously improving my gardening experience and harvest. My family can attest to my many successes and failures. Last year, I wanted to get in sunflowers before my daughter was born. They are symbolic to the meaning of her middle name and I just thought they would be colorful.

Maya enjoying her first Spring May 2009

Gardening Maintenance

Well, having a child doesn’t allow a whole lot of time to get out there and maintain one’s garden. So there were times I probably needed to pull and transfer some rogue sunflower seedlings before they got overgrown. I wasn’t able to do it and at times it seemed we were being invaded by sunflowers. Birds ate some sunflower seeds which they excreted and planted sunflowers in areas I had not intended.

By August, many were too big (over six feet) to try to move. By Fall, some had to be hacked down. I wanted my husband to at least try to cut some so they could be used as cut flowers. So I made a note to self for this year; to not allow an invasion of sunflowers.

Maya and Me August 8, 2009 - when she turned 6 months

Successes and Failures

The sunflowers from last year were a success and failure. My attempt to grow tomatoes were a failure. I bought a few plants that grew but didn’t yield much or ***gasp***I didn’t get to in time and they got over-ripe and fell. The spinach was kind of successful – got some to use, but a lot was enjoyed by insects.

I got ambitious with some vegetables. A broccoli plant turned into a big flowering weed. Cauliflower plants got out of control, where I didn’t even see some heads, which got over-ripe and had to be composted. An artichoke plant grew and promptly died at the first sign of drought in July. The pepper plants produced a little but didn’t quite make it. All of these experiments were on a side plot (behind me in the picture below) that I newly created by removing lawn and rock. I used a little amendment, but could probably use a lot more.

This year, I am excited about the beginning of gardening season and am starting to dream about what I want to plant. Probably the big lesson from last year I should keep in mind is to not get too ambitious, so I don’t end up with a jungle that overwhelms me! Still, I will allow for some sense of gardening adventure.

I look forward to sharing my gardening adventures, large and small. Maybe there will be lessons for all of us. Hopefully, you will learn from my mistakes so you can enjoy more gardening successes in your gardening adventure. Good luck, and happy gardening!

In the back of our suburban home 8.09

Learning to live balanced – literally

Finding balance, Fitness Comments Off

Apr 072010

Goodbye slip-on heeled shoes!

We all have to learn to keep living our lives as balanced as we can. Women and Moms in particular can get caught up in multi-tasking and a juggling act that takes over our lives at our expense. While we may be aware of needing to learn to slow down to maintain balance in our lives in general, we may not think of being balanced in a literal sense. I was not thinking about it when I lost balance on a step, fell, and fractured a hand, requiring surgery.

Now I am recovering and going through challenging physical therapy. The experience has made me more aware of safety. I would not be in this situation if I had taken off my slip-on heels before going down the steep steps to the basement or chosen different shoes. Since my accident, I’ve been drawn to observing the shoes women are wearing. I imagine that as the weather gets warmer, more heels will be worn.

I’ve debated what to do with the shoes I fell in. I thought I might keep them and just be more careful – they were my favorite pair, a treat from Nordstrom. I looked them over and noticed they were somewhat worn and realized I’d never really looked at how worn my dress shoes are getting. I bet this is common for women – we normally have many pairs that we occasionally wear and don’t think we are wearing them out. We certainly wouldn’t think of a potential safety concern from a worn heel. Mine ended up with some ridges that got caught on Berber carpeted stairs.

I decided to donate my shoes and am now giving more thought to the shoes I plan to wear in the future. I’ve heard of vague concerns regarding heels being damaging and decided to do some research. I came across a Washington Post Article with diagrams showing the effect of heels on the body. Not surprisingly, there is nothing positive. For myself, I am planning on steering away from heels. Perhaps what I will gain from literally losing my balance and getting injured is healthier feet and legs for the long-term.

Adjusting to the unexpected

Attitude, Finding balance, Outlook Comments Off

Apr 012010

My left hand post-surgery

I hadn’t expected to be nursing a fractured hand at the beginning of April, along with related lifestyle changes. This includes not driving. Today marks the two-week anniversary of my fall fracturing my hand and also of not driving. I probably haven’t driven for longer but it was good to know that I could. I have also had to have help doing some basic things like opening a jar and anything requiring two hands. Most significantly, I’ve had to have help caring for Maya.

For the first week following the accident, I leaned on Colin during his Spring break. He maintained a good attitude while helping to carry her up and down the stairs, in and out of her high chair and even during diaper changes. He held her down with his eyes closed and holding his breath while I used my right hand for the dirty work. Although it wasn’t an ideal Spring break for him, it was probably healthy for him to be needed and to be helpful to his old lady! I have to get him trained for when I’m older. 😉

This past week, we have been able to utilize the assistance of a 23 year-old neighbor who has not been working. It’s been a good match since she has been able to make some money while we are getting some flexible help. As an added bonus, we got to know of some general babysitting assistance for when we are ready to go date. We may end up with a choice of four sitters, whereas two weeks ago, we knew of no one in the area. We had canceled potentially seeing our favorite singer, Michael Buble, perform as a result.

Over-all, I am trying to take each day as it comes and stay occupied with my interests along with my family responsibilities. I added to my writing tasks right after the fall, by joining Examiner among other projects. I don’t want to focus on the setback with my hand. I want to focus on all that I have and on moving forward. I will do what I can with one hand and will just be more efficient with two.

Tomorrow, it will be one week since my surgery and I will be meeting with my surgeon. I expect that my bandage will be removed and then I imagine throwing up upon looking at the state of my hand. Right before the surgery, he told me he would use a plate instead of pins for my broken metacarpals and that it does not need to be taken out and that it would be noticeable. He also said he would use cadaver bone for the parts where my bone turned to powder. He said that although the cadaver bone has been tested, it could still have HIV. He said the cut area of the hand would protrude and then go down. Aggghhhh! I was hearing all this after being doped up and just pictured a monstrous hand after the surgery and that is what I’m imagining I’ll see tomorrow…

Communication – Part 2

Communication, Finding balance, Relationships Comments Off

Jan 142010

There are many techniques for communication between romantic partners, such as “speaker/listener” and “fighting fair” rules for handling conflict. What does not seem to get much attention or focus is how all these techniques fit into a bigger picture. We can’t have a great relationship by just following (trying, at least) any one technique. Everything fits into a bigger picture of the health of our relationship. If there is underlying tension, techniques may be ineffective, if what is needed, for instance, is time to have fun together.

So it seems that when thinking about communicating better with our mates, we have to think in terms of aspects of the relationship being in balance. I know that with a baby, in particular, I have to try to be vigilant about my marriage getting enough attention. It is easy to be focused on aspects of raising my children, particularly the demands of caring for an infant, that seem never-ending. And then it is easy to only want to talk about her – her progress, what she needs, etc. Then there is trying to keep up with the demands of a preteen, that sometimes go on the back burner as I tend to my baby. Unfortunately, it is easy for my husband to end up last on the list for nurturing. I am sure this is a struggle for many women. We can hardly get to ourselves, who are very often at the very end of the list.

Awareness of the health of our relationship is important. It then allows us to ascertain what is needed and to provide that when possible. Maybe it means trying to squeeze in a quick supportive email or phone call. We have to keep doing something everyday to maintain connection and not let the demands of our day get the best of us. My husband and I try to take at least a few minutes at the end of the day to watch a funny show together and laugh together. That is connecting and can defuse tension and stress, enabling more effective communication later. It has been said that the most important aspect of keeping a marriage strong is friendship and having fun together. We can’t lose sight of this as we find ways to communicate better and try to utilize techniques such as using “I” statements (“I feel…when you….”) instead of “you” (accusatory) statements.

The Need to Telecommute to Find Balance

Telecommuting Comments Off

Aug 052009

An area I have come to feel passionate about is telecommuting. When I worked in corporate America for many years, not being allowed to telecommute was a constant frustration while trying to raise my son. It was hard to understand the logic behind spending at least two hours a day driving to and from work while my son spent from 6:30 am to 6 pm in daycare along with school. Life felt like such a grind and I was like a rat on a treadmill. I was also in school much of this time, getting an MBA, which made life even more challenging in terms of finding balance. I knew that it was temporary and that someday I would begin to live the lifestyle I had imagined.

I am now starting to live a lifestyle where balance is a possibility. I am trying to build work that I can do from home and can hopefully someday find profit in. Eventually, it would be wonderful to have a profitable business that allows me flexibility while trying to nurture the lives of my family and home. I could then stay off the treadmill and not feel like life is such a grind.

It is amazing that more has not already gotten accomplished in the area of telecommuting. It seems there was some push for it a while back, but not much happened. I know in my experience, I heard of the lack of trust management has for employees in getting work done. This concern is not realistic in our high tech times. If employees wanted to waste time, they could do so from their cubes as well. No boss is standing over the shoulder of an employee to see what is being done. What must be looked at is the end result. Is work somehow getting done? If so, then it doesn’t matter with what technological device or from where.

If employees work from home, the company is then able to save a bundle in facility costs, employees aren’t on the road causing accidents, fuel is saved, which also helps the environment, and everyone is happier!

Here’s a resource on the topic: Telecommuting 101

Hello world!

Musings Comments Off

Jun 222009

I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts as I explore and experience my life. There is much that I want to understand…about myself, and the world. The summary of what I seek can be summarized by the words “balance” and “meaning.” I want to know that my life has some purpose; that I am not just clocking in and out every day until I die.

Thank you for sharing my journey with me.