I like to read about ways to improve myself, including the area of parenting.  In the parenting world, building the self-esteem of my preteen son and one-year-old daughter is important to me.  Here are some points I’ve gleaned:

Birth to Age 1:

• Create a secure attachment with your child.  Try to know your child’s different cries and their meaning.  Take note of facial expressions and body language.  Make regular eye contact.  It’s even been shown that there is a connection between eye contact at a young age with higher grades later in high school.

• Along with eye contact, cooing and mirroring says babies that they are worthy of love.  As the baby approaches the age of one, allow appropriate freedom to increase skills, while being there for falls, assuring your child that you will be there.  Praise freely at this age.

One to Two Year-olds:

• Allow the process of letting self-esteem develop through the feeling of competence and capability.  We must find the balance between encouraging independence while providing clear boundaries and rules.  We should praise accomplishments, but not make generic, sweeping statements like “you’re brilliant.”  This can result in the child developing unrealistic expectations without a basis in skills or abilities and damage self-esteem in the long run.

• Toddlers still need the reassurance that comes from hugging and cuddling.  Toddlers also need the comfort of limits.  A big goal of this period is to develop self-control, which is directly linked to self-esteem.  Use explanations instead of just the word “no.”  Focus comments on the behavior rather than the child.

Enhancing self-esteem includes a long-term supply of supportive words and gestures.  It’s never too early or late to do something to enhance a child’s self-esteem.

Pria with Maya at 11 Months

Tomorrow I will provide some points on enhancing self-esteem for three to 12 year-olds.

Source:  Ginny Graves – Redbook