The Riviera Maya with Maya

 Children, Raising Vegetarian Children, Travel, vacation  Comments Off on The Riviera Maya with Maya
Jul 162011
 

Maya discovering the Caribbean

Late on July 11, we returned from our trip to Mexico and now trying to get back in the rhythm of our life at home.  On July 3rd, we left for a week-long daring adventure to the Riviera Maya with our toddler and teen.  We left the country just in time for the 4th of July holiday the next day.  It was somewhat odd to celebrate the occasion in a different country, seeing the red, white and blue balloons while listening to some classic American music.

My 2 year-old daughter Maya had a challenging time on the 5-hour plane ride.  It was surreal to see a sense of Mexico from the plane, which reminded me of my village in India, with its flat, rustic roofs.  Once in Cancun, we were hit by the humidity and then transferred to our resort at the Riviera Maya about an hour away.  Once there, the resort matched what we saw and read on-line and even what we saw via satellite on Google.  It was interesting to be in the ocean that I saw clearly on-line, right to the rocky, patchy areas.

It is difficult to complain about a vacation and resort over-all.  Because, you know, it’s a resort and vacation.  When all else fails, there is always the ocean, which can not disappoint.  We saw some negative reviews of the resort on Trip Advisor, and that was echoed upon arrival.  We had been placed in the wrong room and then on the wrong side.  After finally getting to our correct room, we had some issues with our room not getting cleaned and then the toilet not flushing.  We also had some issues with my son’s age – he was 12 when we booked, which was at a lower rate, but then he turned 13 upon arrival, a higher rate.

Things got resolved and we were able to appreciate the beach above all, and then the pools and having food/drinks included.  It was challenging feeding Maya – we actually had a hard time finding beans at the buffets!  There were no tacos, burritos, enchiladas or other traditional vegetarian Mexican food we are accustomed to in the states.  The first thing we did after landing late Monday was to stop at a cheap fast food Mexican drive-thru on the way home.  My son and I were so desperate for Mexican food after our trip to Mexico!  At the fancy Mexican restaurant, we were offered roasted vegetables.  This followed the fancy French food the previous night where we had the same vegetables.  I do regret not insisting on some whole beans and accepting what was offered.

I would probably not book an all-inclusive in the future.  I gained 5 lbs, and unless you are used to eating and drinking a lot, it may not be the best value or provide you with the choice you want.  Since you have already paid for your package, the restaurants don’t need to impress you, particularly vegetarians.  There isn’t competition for your business.  We had considered a vacation rental, which is something I would try next time.  We could have our own room and only pay for what little food/drink we may want.

 

Morning Rice

 Children, Cooking, Raising Vegetarian Children, Recipes, vegan, Vegetarianism  Comments Off on Morning Rice
May 232011
 

Morning Rice

It’s National Vegetarian Week!  Hooray!  In honor, I want to share a simple breakfast recipe that I made this morning.  I was hoping my two year-old toddler would appreciate it.  But of course it is a mystery what she will take to or not.

At first she didn’t want to try it because she didn’t recognize it (I assume), but eventually, she was won over, possibly by the fragrance of vanilla and cinnamon.

I wish that I could give proper credit to the source, but it was just on my calendar for the month of May, so I have been eyeing it all month, waiting to make it when I had cooked brown rice handy.  Making the brown rice in the morning before my toddler wakes at 6 is a bit much to ask.  Just trying to get my caffeine in by then is a feat.

I doubled the ingredients for my family of 4.  I left the peeling on the apples, which was fine with my family.

The dish can easily be made vegan with the use of non-dairy milk.

portion:  1 serving

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup cooked brown rice
  • 1/4 cup lowfat milk or soymilk
  • 1 apple, peeled, cored, and finely chopped
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp cinnamon

Mix all ingredients in a microwave safe bowl (or on the stove).  Heat on high for 1-2 minutes or until heated through.

Nutritional info (per serving):  calories – 220, fat – 1.5g, protein – 4.7g, carb – 48g, fiber – 7g, calcium – 92mg, iron 1 mg, vitamin A – 35mcg, vitamin c – 5mg, folate – 4 mcg

 

 

 

Raviolis rule with kids of all ages

 Children, Cooking, Recipes, Vegetarianism  Comments Off on Raviolis rule with kids of all ages
May 062011
 

Raviolis stuffed with spinach in a tomato sauce

Trying to please the appetites of a 12 year-old and two year-old vegetarian kid at the same time is not always easy.

This is where pasta comes in to the rescue.  There are a variety of pastas, and the one my kids probably like best is raviolis stuffed with spinach and cheese.  This also works for me to try to get vegetables in my toddler.

Although spinach has fortunately not been much of a problem for her, particularly when it’s been sauteed with olive oil.

My son was off school today, so I made them the ravioli.  They both ate a lot.  Fortunately for me, it was easy and I took a shortcut by not boiling the raviolis separately.  I sauteed diced tomatoes in plenty of olive oil with minced garlic, salt, black pepper, Italian seasonings and then paprika.

If you use canned diced tomatoes, you probably don’t need to add water.  If you use fresh (I used a combo), add a little water.  I added the raviolis and let them cook in this sauce, covered.  I added some chives and cilantro at the end as garnish.  I served it with Parmesan cheese.  My mission of getting a balanced and satisfying meal in my kids is accomplished! (for now)

Parenthood and Perfectionism

 Attitude, Children, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Motherhood, Parenting, Philosophy  Comments Off on Parenthood and Perfectionism
Mar 032011
 

Imperfect self-feeding

Parenthood and perfectionism is of course a misnomer.  I doubt there has ever been a parent that felt “perfect.”  Probably the biggest mistake parents make is to expect such a standard from themselves and then kick themselves for not reaching it.  Guilt seems synonymous with being parents.  We never feel we are doing enough or being enough for our kids.

A New York Times article on Perfectionist Parents points to a study that expectant moms that have the highest expectations of themselves as parents are more likely to suffer postpartum depression later when self-imposed standards are not met.  A reader shared advice from her doctor when she became pregnant:  “She explained that I had just lost control of my life and had nine months to make peace with it.  It was the best advice I was ever given on parenting.”  Another reader commented that she found parenthood to be the perfect antidote for perfectionism.

Maybe a solution is to allow for some mediocrity and then pat ourselves when we go above that.  It could mean less guilt and stress when our standard is not so high all the time.

Parents commonly compare their kids – I have been guilty of the same.  We want to know the status of our children by making sure they are doing at least what other kids their age and gender are doing.  Parenting is the only job and role where we don’t get feedback.  Even our marriage partners will certainly let us know if we fall in expected standards!

Alas, parenthood, expectations of perfection, and of course the resulting guilt go hand-in-hand.  There are not many parents that begin the day with thinking “I will just try to get through the day or just try to make sure that my child survives.”  However, it may help on certain days to just tell yourself, “hey, everybody made it alive today!”  And try to go to bed peacefully and without guilt…

Doing something here when disaster strikes there

 Causes, Children, Finding Meaning, Giving, Philosophy, Spirituality  Comments Off on Doing something here when disaster strikes there
Aug 282010
 

It is an interesting issue of perspective when disasters strike far from us and how much it impacts us here.  Often times, it is the role of the media that plays a big part in how emotionally connected we feel.  If the media does not discuss or show emotionally charged images of a disaster, people are less inclined to reach out.

Every place on the planet is far away for someone and thus can be cause for one to feel disengaged.  With the advancement of technology, places have become closer and closer.  Our world is more similar than dissimilar.  A relative recently commented on a photo of my daughter in Utah.  He said it looked like a photo of my ancestral village in Pakistan.  Both are deserts and geographically very similar.

We are all vulnerable one way or another.  If a disaster involved us, we would want the world to reach out to us.  Pakistanis affected by the floods, especially the children, deserve to be assisted.  They did not ask for this, just as the Haitians did not ask for the earthquake.  The magnitude of the disaster in Pakistan may end up being the greatest of the decade, yet the aid thus far has been a fraction of that provided for other recent tragedies.  The following article may provide some insight into why this is occurring:

4 Reasons Why Americans Aren’t Giving for Pakistan Flood Relief – International – The Atlantic

The comments below the article are interesting.  I am attaching the following that resonated in particular for me:

“Uncle_Fred 5 days ago
Wow. I don’t understand it. Here before us is America’s chance to make a positive difference. We all know this is a part of the world that associates the American brand with bombs and drones.

America is missing a golden opportunity.

Aren’t the troops and equipment a hop across the border? If they got the goods and the manpower, why isn’t America there to help these people?

Imagine the reaction in the Muslim world if they were beamed imagines of Americans helping Pakistanis in great numbers, assisting them as brothers in need. This could throw a wrench in the propaganda arsenal that radicals use to inflame militancy.

As an added benefit, it might help to stabilize the Pakistani element to the Afghanistan resistance. American soldiers might get to go home sooner!

Yes, it can be argued that previous help was ineffective in changing hearts and minds. A perfect example of this would be the earthquake that rocked the region a few years back. Nevertheless, the US has spent far more money and time bombing Pakistan then helping it.

Show the world your good intentions Americans. Show these people that you’re not their enemy. Consequently, the ill-will large swaths of the Muslim world feels towards poor US foreign policy can be partly alleviated.”

Support UNICEF’s flood disaster relief for the children of Pakistan

Spring Cleaning – Preteen Boy’s Room

 Children, De-cluttering, Motherhood, Organizing  Comments Off on Spring Cleaning – Preteen Boy’s Room
Mar 042010
 

As the first signs of Spring are starting to be seen with the beginning of March, windows are being opened for some fresh air and thoughts of dusting, de-cluttering, organizing and Spring cleaning are not far behind.

From the Butterfly Pavillion

The starting point for my current spring cleaning is my son Colin’s room.  It’s been neglected.  It needs some upgrading to his current age, some organizing, lots of purging, and cleaning.  He has not kept up with the cleaning and the cleaning lady we recently had was being challenged figuring out her way around enough to clean.  She gave me the homework assignment of getting some bags of stuff out of there, which I had not completely complied with.

I have started by moving his bed to a different location – that always lends a different, refreshing perspective to a room.  That meant discovering a whole world under his bed.  Often, de-cluttering and cleaning for Colin has meant shoving as much as he can under the bed.  I’ve been pulling things out from under there, so it wasn’t too bad this time.  So initially, I cleared and cleaned the area his bed was going to cover and then put everything questionable to one side of his room, once the bed was moved.  This looks more cluttered than before.  But trust the process!

I’m trying to create “homes,” for his stuff, which I still need to do.  He has a big plastic tub (can’t have too many plastic bins!) that fits under his bed, which is now a home for art.  I have to find homes for all the other stuff piled to one side of his room.  Things gradually start to find groups and then you find a container to put them in and a logical place for the container.  As you create the homes and move stuff out, you see more and more space (and feel lighter!)

I am starting to learn some lessons, especially for getting together a preteen boy’s room:

  • Clear, covered plastic containers of all sizes solve many problems.  They keep dust at bay and keep things separate and easy to see.  I need a bigger one for his legos that no longer can be covered in the current container.  There are an abundant amount of small stuff to store and keep separate – pens, markers, etc.
  • Keep stuff to a minimum.  Colin’s room is not very big, so taking out unecesary stuff helps a lot.  This meant taking out a shelf that was only holding clutter.  Moving the bed to one side also freed up valuable playing space.   I have the vacuum handy to clean any new space as I go along.  With Colin’s help, we’ll go through his books to weed out those he’s read and outgrown, toys he has outgrown or doesn’t want to play with, and clothes that he no longer fits in.  These will be donated.
  • Every room needs some nature and greenery.  There are some small plants that I will put into a big pot to put in a corner of his room.  It should also help the air in his room.
  • Maintain the space regularly. A kid’s room needs constant maintenance to purge it of stuff that’s been outgrown.  With my 1 year-old, I keep a bag near her changing station to keep putting in clothes that no longer fit.  It’s a much more frequent process than with my son.  A preteen boy needs to be reminded regularly to maintain his room.  We’ve tried to have a set time, 8pm, when he needs to wind up his day, including watching TV, and take some time to get his room straight before retiring for the night.  This is still a work in progress.

He is very happy with his space once it’s done.  What needs work is having that pride stay long enough to keep maintaining the space to keep it in top condition.  What I find is that if the “vision” for the room strays too much, I have to go in there and re-haul it so he has an idea of what to work towards, which is what I am working on right now.  Hopefully, when he comes home from school today, he will have a wonderful surprise when he opens his bedroom door.

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Building a Child’s Self Esteem (Ages 3-12)

 Children, Parenting, Self-esteem  Comments Off on Building a Child’s Self Esteem (Ages 3-12)
Feb 182010
 

Maya and Colin 1.10

By the age of three, about 85% of the brain has developed.  Those are crucial years.  I’ve taught at the preschool level and learned first-hand how little value those years have been given.  There should be plenty of funding and support for these years.

Some points to consider in building self-esteem:

3 to 5 year-olds

  • Pride is emerging, along with self-conscious emotions like shame, guilt and embarrassment.  This prompts preschoolers to be more prone to being easily torn down and easily built up as well.
  • Encourage your child’s sense of capability by encouraging a variety of activities.  Help your child to keep setbacks in perspective and to set realistic expectations.  Remind your child of progress and successes in the past.
  • Praise only what your child does well rather than making general exaggerated comments.
  • Acknowledge the difference your child is making, such as when your child helps around the house.  This lets your child know of his or her importance.
  • When your preschooler does something wrong, help your child to gain his or her own conclusion to gain a better understanding of the world and how to succeed in it.

6 to 12-year-olds

  • With school comes competition and evaluation, which can undermine your child’s self-esteem.  Kids will measure themselves against peers.
  • It’s now more important than ever to praise efforts rather than specific accomplishments or general traits like intelligence.  Kids that are told they’re smart resist learning new things and limit themselves.  Kids who are taught the importance of working hard and concentrating thrive.  They are more motivated, perform higher and have higher self-esteem.
  • Keep your child focused on self-improvement rather than shortcomings in relation to peers.  Explain how kids are good at different things, and that no one is good at everything.  Help your child figure out his or her strengths.  There may be an aspect of a sport or activity that your child does well, such as knowing and following the rules well.  Reward participation and effort.
  • When setbacks happen, keep the focus on future improvement.  Practice with your child to participate in working toward a goal.
  • Problem-solve together, allowing your child to come up with solutions first and then offering your input.  This will help your child see him or herself as a valued, thinking member of the family.
  • When you express love to your child, set not limits on yourself!  Maya and Colin 1.10

Building a Child’s Self-Esteem (to age 2)

 Children, Parenting, Self-esteem  3 Responses »
Feb 172010
 

I like to read about ways to improve myself, including the area of parenting.  In the parenting world, building the self-esteem of my preteen son and one-year-old daughter is important to me.  Here are some points I’ve gleaned:

Birth to Age 1:

  • Create a secure attachment with your child.  Try to know your child’s different cries and their meaning.  Take note of facial expressions and body language.  Make regular eye contact.  It’s even been shown that there is a connection between eye contact at a young age with higher grades later in high school.
  • Along with eye contact, cooing and mirroring says babies that they are worthy of love.  As the baby approaches the age of one, allow appropriate freedom to increase skills, while being there for falls, assuring your child that you will be there.  Praise freely at this age.

One to Two Year-olds:

  • Allow the process of letting self-esteem develop through the feeling of competence and capability.  We must find the balance between encouraging independence while providing clear boundaries and rules.  We should praise accomplishments, but not make generic, sweeping statements like “you’re brilliant.”  This can result in the child developing unrealistic expectations without a basis in skills or abilities and damage self-esteem in the long run.
  • Toddlers still need the reassurance that comes from hugging and cuddling.  Toddlers also need the comfort of limits.  A big goal of this period is to develop self-control, which is directly linked to self-esteem.  Use explanations instead of just the word “no.”  Focus comments on the behavior rather than the child.

Enhancing self-esteem includes a long-term supply of supportive words and gestures.  It’s never too early or late to do something to enhance a child’s self-esteem.

Pria with Maya at 11 Months

Tomorrow I will provide some points on enhancing self-esteem for three to 12 year-olds.

Source:  Ginny Graves – Redbook

My Daughter Turns 1

 Children, Motherhood, Parenting  Comments Off on My Daughter Turns 1
Feb 162010
 

My adorable daughter, Maya, turned one on February 8. We spread out her birthday celebration, doing different activities to accommodate her schedule. I am sharing some photos of this time period.

I look at her now and feel amazed at how intact she seems. I am so relieved and pray she continues to be healthy and happy. I think of all the issues and scares of the past year, feeling nervous about her fragile phases and worrying about various situations that I did not get perfect. There seemed to be soap that got in her mouth as an infant. Once her swing seemed to be swung too much and I worried about shaken baby syndrome. There’s been the constant threat of SIDS, that I hope she has graduated from. There have been many “bonks” as she learned to sit, stand, crawl, and now cruising in preparation for walking. Once she slipped off the couch, bonking her head. Stuff happened that I thought wouldn’t happen on my watch.

When she first learned to crawl, she crawled off the bed, completely freaking me out. The bed was no longer safe and I knew I would have to be constantly vigilant about where she crawled to, and navigate around my pets. Once she startled my sleeping Australian Shepherd (I didn’t notice he was where she crawled to) and ended up with a little cut in her ear and above her eye. I was freaked out again. I would have to referee better with him. I worry as she feeds the dogs from her high chair, holding out her tiny hand and crabbing my shepherd’s fur as he walks by.

I’ve generally been afraid of babies. I’ve thought they were cute, but too fragile to trust myself with. In fact, when I had my son in 1998, at 30, after 21 hours of labor, I wouldn’t hold him when he was offered to me. I was concerned about my strength at the moment and was afraid of dropping him. I was awkward trying to first put clothes on him, not sure about twisting his limbs into the clothes. Driving was a whole other concern.

I can’t say I’ve come far in my baby concerns since having my son, which my daughter has benefited from. In a sense, my experience validated my concern about their fragility. When he was two, he fell from a chair (while trying to turn the light switch on and off), just a few feet from me, and fractured his elbow. The total distance was about a foot, but he apparently fell wrong and I wasn’t fast enough in catching him. It seemed to happen in slow motion. A doctor asked, “why were you letting him climb on chairs?” Because I’m an irresponsible idiot! I had nightmares of him falling in slow motion for a long time.  I’ve felt for a long time like the best and easiest phase for me is adolescence – I can imagine many parents of adolescents cringe.

It may be a while, at least until Maya is five and going to kindergarten, that I will remain vigilant and before I can try to relax a little…

Blood-draw From Hell

 Children, Motherhood, Parenting  Comments Off on Blood-draw From Hell
Feb 082010
 

Today is my daughter’s 1st birthday!  In celebration, or rather, in poor planning, we had scheduled her one year doctor’s appointment this morning.  She had a few vaccinations at the doctor’s appointment and then we were sent nearby for a blood-draw.  We frantically tried to use her numbing ointment wherever we were told she would be pricked, but there seemed to be a disconnect between where we were told her blood-draw would be and where it ended up, so she didn’t have the ointment in the right place.

In hindsight, we should have rescheduled.  The ointment takes half an hour to take effect, and a blood-draw is more involved than getting a shot.  This would be her first.  We decided to “get ‘er done” since we were there and my husband had taken the time from work to help and be present.  My husband held Maya while I tried to distract her with a toy and hide the shot with a book (for both of us) while trying to feed her with her bottle.  It seemed to go on forever, but was maybe a minute or two when my husband said it was enough, while Maya continued crying.  I thought I was doing all I could to help my daughter survive the draw.

Maya - 11 Months

It turned out there was no blood drawn!  The aide was trying to find a vein!  All that time, she said nothing while pricking my daughter for nothing!  I don’t understand why she couldn’t just say she couldn’t find it before pricking her or during the unproductive process!  I would have told her to stop way before my husband did.  This unproductive process has been done with me and I know how painful it is (I had a whole line of co-workers watch while my arm was repeatedly pricked).  I can’t believe this was being done to my child, whose arm is a fraction of the width of mine.

I have a general frustration with some of the professional world that deal with children (and maybe shouldn’t), that seem to discount the pain kids feel.  It’s as if they think that if you can’t speak, you don’t feel pain, or that it somehow doesn’t matter.  I’ve read about surgeries done on babies with little pain relief.  It was after reading an article that I found out about the ointment we now use, which I requested a prescription for.  I don’t see why it wasn’t mentioned by the medical office or just used by them.  More and more, as a parent, I’m learning how proactive we must be in caring for and protecting our children.  It’s frustrating that we can’t always trust professionals in their care, at least not to the level we may want and prefer.

There are unfortunately many ugly realities of parenthood, with vaccinations and blood-draws being high on the list.  We can at least do what is within our power to make these ugly realities less so for our kids.

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