My 11 year-old pre-teen son is on his way to go on a 3-day outdoor education program for middle school.  It will be his first time being away without a parent.  It is reassuring to know he will be surrounded by classmates and teachers he knows.  As he started middle school just a few weeks ago, I could see a transformation starting with him, one that included the excitement and wonder about the world around him and embracing the process of growing.

Colin at sailing camp 8.09

I recall my own junior high school trip when we went to Charleston.  It was my first time going away without my parents and I felt very liberated.  I have vivid images of Charleston and how beautiful I thought it was.  This was before Hurricane Hugo.

Colin has stated at times that he wanted to stay a child (like Peter Pan) or at least prolong his childhood.  I must have not made being an adult look too appealing!  I admit at times my tough love would have made him seem to be an adult-in-training.   I’ve had a clear idea of the well-mannered gentleman I want him to be at 30 and have worked backwards to fill in all the pieces to try to have that end result.  I felt it was working when his kindergarten teacher told me he was the most well-mannered (and reasoning-oriented) student she had.

Of course there is much that Colin has and continues to teach me.  A big lesson has been that of letting go, which seems to be required daily as our kids continually change, grow and need us less.  I vividly recall sitting in a movie theatre with him when he was about 3, watching Nemo.  I cried when the boy fish got separated from his parent and kept swimming away.  The situation was probably not helped by the fact that a divorce was going on and there had been actual moments like that.

It is an irony that the better we do as parents, the less our children will need us.  We have to pat ourselves on the back when they independently and confidently embrace the world without us.