Resources for kid activities & camps in Denver

 Children, Parenting  Comments Off on Resources for kid activities & camps in Denver
May 052012
 

Still trying to figure out what to do with your kids this summer?  The summer can be a stressful time if you have kids and need to work outside the home.  It can be quite the juggling act as you coordinate dates, transportation and expenses.

As much as possible, stay organized and try to fit in some flexibility wherever possible.  Often, a better camp opportunity may come up after you’ve just booked one.  You want to be able to cancel if needed and get your funds back.

As you figure out what to do with your kids while you work, here are some resources to consider:

Colorado Kids

Denver Post 2012 Summer Camps Listing (Part 1)

Summer Camps 2012:  Day Camps – Part 2

Mile Hi Mamas – recommendations

Some sites will allow you to create a “scheduler,” which will allow you to select different camps the company offers to fill in your time.  An example is Colorado Academy.  An option to consider to fill in gaps between camps can be to utilize your area’s recreation center.  Many offer summer programs that you can take advantage of weekly, part-time or drop-in at affordable prices.  This can give you some flexibility as well since you can pick and choose the days you may want your child to attend.  Maybe there is a particular field trip that interests your child.

Unfortunately, many camps and other summer activities are filling up, so act fast!

Definition of autism being modified

 Autism, Children, Parenting  Comments Off on Definition of autism being modified
Jan 242012
 

My amazing kids

There was an interesting article in The New York Times recently (published 1/19/12) about autism.  According to the article, the definition of autism is being modified, which would mean some would not meet the criteria for the diagnosis.

<Proposed changes in the definition of autism would sharply reduce the skyrocketing rate at which the disorder is diagnosed and might make it harder for many people who would no longer meet the criteria to get health, educational and social services, a new analysis suggests.

The definition is now being reassessed by an expert panel appointed by the American Psychiatric Association, which is completing work on the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the first major revision in 17 years. The D.S.M., as the manual is known, is the standard reference for mental disorders, driving research, treatment and insurance decisions. Most experts expect that the new manual will narrow the criteria for autism; the question is how sharply.

The results of the new analysis are preliminary, but they offer the most drastic estimate of how tightening the criteria for autism could affect the rate of diagnosis. For years, many experts have privately contended that the vagueness of the current criteria for autism and related disorders like Asperger syndrome was contributing to the increase in the rate of diagnoses — which has ballooned to one child in 100, according to some estimates.

The psychiatrists’ association is wrestling with one of the most agonizing questions in mental health — where to draw the line between unusual and abnormal — and its decisions are sure to be wrenching for some families. At a time when school budgets for special education are stretched, the new diagnosis could herald more pitched battles. Tens of thousands of people receive state-backed services to help offset the disorders’ disabling effects, which include sometimes severe learning and social problems, and the diagnosis is in many ways central to their lives. Close networks of parents have bonded over common experiences with children; and the children, too, may grow to find a sense of their own identity in their struggle with the disorder.

The proposed changes would probably exclude people with a diagnosis who were higher functioning. “I’m very concerned about the change in diagnosis, because I wonder if my daughter would even qualify,” said Mary Meyer of Ramsey, N.J. A diagnosis of Asperger syndrome was crucial to helping her daughter, who is 37, gain access to services that have helped tremendously. “She’s on disability, which is partly based on the Asperger’s; and I’m hoping to get her into supportive housing, which also depends on her diagnosis.”

The new analysis, presented Thursday at a meeting of the Icelandic Medical Association, opens a debate about just how many people the proposed diagnosis would affect.

The changes would narrow the diagnosis so much that it could effectively end the autism surge, said Dr. Fred R. Volkmar, director of the Child Study Center at the Yale School of Medicine and an author of the new analysis of the proposal. “We would nip it in the bud.”>

This is more interesting and personal to me because exactly a week ago, my thirteen year-old son was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.  I wonder if he was tested in a year, whether he would meet the criteria.  This comes six months after hearing of my two year-old’s diagnosis of high-functioning autism.  I am still trying to understand the full scope of what she has and what I can do to address it.  I now need to do the same for my son.

Today is interesting and unique because I have a meeting this afternoon to work on my daughter’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) with the district, while a meeting for the same is occurring for my son at his school.  I need to be focused on my daughter’s 12-page IEP for now so I can best advocate for her.  Soon I will need to shift my focus on the specifics of my son’s plan.  It is quite a mental shift to think about what a preschooler needs and then what a teen needs.

Diagnosing Autism

 Autism, Children, Finding balance, Motherhood, Parenting  Comments Off on Diagnosing Autism
Dec 122011
 

When I think about the path that led to my daughter’s diagnosis of high-functioning autism in July when almost 2 1/2, I am amazed at how random that path was.  My husband happened to speak with a coworker who was getting some assistance for their child through Child Find.  We wondered about Maya and had her evaluated with the organization when Maya was about 1 1/2.

The results were primarily that there was a speech delay.   She then began to see a speech therapist and occupational therapist.  This service will end when she turns 3 in February.  Soon she will have an evaluation to see if she qualifies for services through the district once she is 3.

Earlier in the year, concerns had been brought up by a therapist regarding autism.  The ball to have her evaluated for the disorder started rolling and was blocked repeatedly by her insurance.  After much pushing and coordination between Child Find and myself with Maya’s insurance, she was given a referral to be evaluated.

I filled out a mountain of paperwork and waited for her evaluation on June 24.  We were lucky to not have had to wait too long, as many people wait a while on a long wait list.  As the evaluation approached, we heard increasingly that she did not seem to have the disorder.  I was just glad to be able to rule it out.  This of course made the actual diagnosis of her having high-functioning autism even more mind-boggling.  Every day, we look at her wondering if there was a mistake – at times it seems it was, and at others it achingly does not.

The material and books to read and learn about autism are immense and daunting.  How does a parent even find the time when we are overwhelmed and exhausted from the extra effort involved in raising a child with autism?  What little I have managed to read so far stands out with the message to look at my daughter specifically as the wonderful human being I know her to be and to learn directly from her about her and not get worried or weighed down by a label.

 

Learning About Autism

 Autism, Children, Finding balance, Motherhood, Parenting  Comments Off on Learning About Autism
Aug 282011
 

Maya 7.18.11

I started to learn about the neurological disorder autism when told my daughter may be on the spectrum.  The disorder is not black and white and has a huge grey range or spectrum where one may fall.  My daughter is fortunately on the high-functioning end.  I hesitate to use the word “fortunate.”  Over-all, I am fortunate to have this human being in my care, no matter where Maya is on the spectrum.  As any parent can appreciate, she is my precious child, no matter what issues she and I need to overcome or manage.

While I was waiting to have Maya evaluated, I was amazed at all the coverage the disorder receives these days.  It’s possible that I was more attuned to the topic and noticed it more due to my situation.  There was mention of the disorder being possibly caused by vaccines and as a result, some parents have refused vaccinations.  This has largely been proven to be a myth and is potentially dangerous to children.  There was mention of potential contaminants in the environment as a possible cause along with genetics.  It’s possible certain environmental situations “activate” the gene.  It is still unknown what definitively causes autism, though it’s generally understood that genes play a role.  It’s possible some relatives in a family have some level or mutation.

A parent can invest considerable energy trying to understand “how” and “why?”  I realized I could surf the web forever trying to get answers.  Meanwhile, Maya needs care and attention.  It became apparent I needed to balance my desire to understand with trying to be the best parent I can be to her now.  Whatever I do understand of her specific needs can be utilized immediately.  In that sense, there was some relief in getting the diagnosis because it helps me to understand some issues that did not make much sense to me.  I have a place to turn to now for answers rather than guessing or doubting myself as a parent.

A resource:

Lack of Eye Contact May Predict Level of Disability in Children with Autism

Parenthood and Perfectionism

 Attitude, Children, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Motherhood, Parenting, Philosophy  Comments Off on Parenthood and Perfectionism
Mar 032011
 

Imperfect self-feeding

Parenthood and perfectionism is of course a misnomer.  I doubt there has ever been a parent that felt “perfect.”  Probably the biggest mistake parents make is to expect such a standard from themselves and then kick themselves for not reaching it.  Guilt seems synonymous with being parents.  We never feel we are doing enough or being enough for our kids.

A New York Times article on Perfectionist Parents points to a study that expectant moms that have the highest expectations of themselves as parents are more likely to suffer postpartum depression later when self-imposed standards are not met.  A reader shared advice from her doctor when she became pregnant:  “She explained that I had just lost control of my life and had nine months to make peace with it.  It was the best advice I was ever given on parenting.”  Another reader commented that she found parenthood to be the perfect antidote for perfectionism.

Maybe a solution is to allow for some mediocrity and then pat ourselves when we go above that.  It could mean less guilt and stress when our standard is not so high all the time.

Parents commonly compare their kids – I have been guilty of the same.  We want to know the status of our children by making sure they are doing at least what other kids their age and gender are doing.  Parenting is the only job and role where we don’t get feedback.  Even our marriage partners will certainly let us know if we fall in expected standards!

Alas, parenthood, expectations of perfection, and of course the resulting guilt go hand-in-hand.  There are not many parents that begin the day with thinking “I will just try to get through the day or just try to make sure that my child survives.”  However, it may help on certain days to just tell yourself, “hey, everybody made it alive today!”  And try to go to bed peacefully and without guilt…

“I’m bored, mom”

 Causes, Motherhood, Parenting, Philosophy  1 Response »
May 212010
 

Observing birds and their nests on a bridge during a nature walk on Mother's Day.

Boredom is a subject many moms are looking at these days as summer break approaches for our kids. It’s a dreaded, scary word that prompts mom to feel inadequate. That’s not a difficult feat for moms on any given day. Seems to be a part of motherhood – our constantly trying to reach the perfect image in our minds. This is continually challenged by a toddler as she continually goes into and touches things she should not – and worse yet, when these items need to be explored with her mouth.

As I’m trying to keep my toddler from eating and touching things she shouldn’t, I am trying to make certain my preteen is “entertained.” Since when did the role of entertainer become a part of motherhood? Kids are getting increasingly entertained by the media and my specialization of marketing. Parents have to be the follow-up act, and it’s tough to accomplish.

My son brought up yesterday that he was bored, after a full few minutes of being in-between activities. I told him that was good! We’ve been engaging in chats here and there about the idea of boredom as we approach summer break. Some of the agenda behind this is selfish, so I don’t get inundated with continuous preteen shows that I already know more about than I care to.

Moms, the next time your child mentions the dreaded “I’m bored” sentence, accept it as a healthy part of life rather than feeling guilty and like you have to be a clown for your child. It is healthy for children to have “down time” when they can reflect and imagine.

Remind your child that if they feel bored, it means they’ve lost touch with the fascinating world around them and that now they can be more conscious of it. When they were younger, boredom was not a concept they knew about. I point out to my preteen how my toddler never gets bored because everything is new and interesting. This is a concept we should retain forever!

In fact, I don’t know of a single adult that ever complains of boredom. At least not a parent. Adults work hard to go on vacation and maybe, hopefully, “get bored.”

Birds building nests under a bridge

Building a Child’s Self Esteem (Ages 3-12)

 Children, Parenting, Self-esteem  Comments Off on Building a Child’s Self Esteem (Ages 3-12)
Feb 182010
 

Maya and Colin 1.10

By the age of three, about 85% of the brain has developed.  Those are crucial years.  I’ve taught at the preschool level and learned first-hand how little value those years have been given.  There should be plenty of funding and support for these years.

Some points to consider in building self-esteem:

3 to 5 year-olds

  • Pride is emerging, along with self-conscious emotions like shame, guilt and embarrassment.  This prompts preschoolers to be more prone to being easily torn down and easily built up as well.
  • Encourage your child’s sense of capability by encouraging a variety of activities.  Help your child to keep setbacks in perspective and to set realistic expectations.  Remind your child of progress and successes in the past.
  • Praise only what your child does well rather than making general exaggerated comments.
  • Acknowledge the difference your child is making, such as when your child helps around the house.  This lets your child know of his or her importance.
  • When your preschooler does something wrong, help your child to gain his or her own conclusion to gain a better understanding of the world and how to succeed in it.

6 to 12-year-olds

  • With school comes competition and evaluation, which can undermine your child’s self-esteem.  Kids will measure themselves against peers.
  • It’s now more important than ever to praise efforts rather than specific accomplishments or general traits like intelligence.  Kids that are told they’re smart resist learning new things and limit themselves.  Kids who are taught the importance of working hard and concentrating thrive.  They are more motivated, perform higher and have higher self-esteem.
  • Keep your child focused on self-improvement rather than shortcomings in relation to peers.  Explain how kids are good at different things, and that no one is good at everything.  Help your child figure out his or her strengths.  There may be an aspect of a sport or activity that your child does well, such as knowing and following the rules well.  Reward participation and effort.
  • When setbacks happen, keep the focus on future improvement.  Practice with your child to participate in working toward a goal.
  • Problem-solve together, allowing your child to come up with solutions first and then offering your input.  This will help your child see him or herself as a valued, thinking member of the family.
  • When you express love to your child, set not limits on yourself!  Maya and Colin 1.10

Building a Child’s Self-Esteem (to age 2)

 Children, Parenting, Self-esteem  3 Responses »
Feb 172010
 

I like to read about ways to improve myself, including the area of parenting.  In the parenting world, building the self-esteem of my preteen son and one-year-old daughter is important to me.  Here are some points I’ve gleaned:

Birth to Age 1:

  • Create a secure attachment with your child.  Try to know your child’s different cries and their meaning.  Take note of facial expressions and body language.  Make regular eye contact.  It’s even been shown that there is a connection between eye contact at a young age with higher grades later in high school.
  • Along with eye contact, cooing and mirroring says babies that they are worthy of love.  As the baby approaches the age of one, allow appropriate freedom to increase skills, while being there for falls, assuring your child that you will be there.  Praise freely at this age.

One to Two Year-olds:

  • Allow the process of letting self-esteem develop through the feeling of competence and capability.  We must find the balance between encouraging independence while providing clear boundaries and rules.  We should praise accomplishments, but not make generic, sweeping statements like “you’re brilliant.”  This can result in the child developing unrealistic expectations without a basis in skills or abilities and damage self-esteem in the long run.
  • Toddlers still need the reassurance that comes from hugging and cuddling.  Toddlers also need the comfort of limits.  A big goal of this period is to develop self-control, which is directly linked to self-esteem.  Use explanations instead of just the word “no.”  Focus comments on the behavior rather than the child.

Enhancing self-esteem includes a long-term supply of supportive words and gestures.  It’s never too early or late to do something to enhance a child’s self-esteem.

Pria with Maya at 11 Months

Tomorrow I will provide some points on enhancing self-esteem for three to 12 year-olds.

Source:  Ginny Graves – Redbook

My Daughter Turns 1

 Children, Motherhood, Parenting  Comments Off on My Daughter Turns 1
Feb 162010
 

My adorable daughter, Maya, turned one on February 8. We spread out her birthday celebration, doing different activities to accommodate her schedule. I am sharing some photos of this time period.

I look at her now and feel amazed at how intact she seems. I am so relieved and pray she continues to be healthy and happy. I think of all the issues and scares of the past year, feeling nervous about her fragile phases and worrying about various situations that I did not get perfect. There seemed to be soap that got in her mouth as an infant. Once her swing seemed to be swung too much and I worried about shaken baby syndrome. There’s been the constant threat of SIDS, that I hope she has graduated from. There have been many “bonks” as she learned to sit, stand, crawl, and now cruising in preparation for walking. Once she slipped off the couch, bonking her head. Stuff happened that I thought wouldn’t happen on my watch.

When she first learned to crawl, she crawled off the bed, completely freaking me out. The bed was no longer safe and I knew I would have to be constantly vigilant about where she crawled to, and navigate around my pets. Once she startled my sleeping Australian Shepherd (I didn’t notice he was where she crawled to) and ended up with a little cut in her ear and above her eye. I was freaked out again. I would have to referee better with him. I worry as she feeds the dogs from her high chair, holding out her tiny hand and crabbing my shepherd’s fur as he walks by.

I’ve generally been afraid of babies. I’ve thought they were cute, but too fragile to trust myself with. In fact, when I had my son in 1998, at 30, after 21 hours of labor, I wouldn’t hold him when he was offered to me. I was concerned about my strength at the moment and was afraid of dropping him. I was awkward trying to first put clothes on him, not sure about twisting his limbs into the clothes. Driving was a whole other concern.

I can’t say I’ve come far in my baby concerns since having my son, which my daughter has benefited from. In a sense, my experience validated my concern about their fragility. When he was two, he fell from a chair (while trying to turn the light switch on and off), just a few feet from me, and fractured his elbow. The total distance was about a foot, but he apparently fell wrong and I wasn’t fast enough in catching him. It seemed to happen in slow motion. A doctor asked, “why were you letting him climb on chairs?” Because I’m an irresponsible idiot! I had nightmares of him falling in slow motion for a long time.  I’ve felt for a long time like the best and easiest phase for me is adolescence – I can imagine many parents of adolescents cringe.

It may be a while, at least until Maya is five and going to kindergarten, that I will remain vigilant and before I can try to relax a little…

Blood-draw From Hell

 Children, Motherhood, Parenting  Comments Off on Blood-draw From Hell
Feb 082010
 

Today is my daughter’s 1st birthday!  In celebration, or rather, in poor planning, we had scheduled her one year doctor’s appointment this morning.  She had a few vaccinations at the doctor’s appointment and then we were sent nearby for a blood-draw.  We frantically tried to use her numbing ointment wherever we were told she would be pricked, but there seemed to be a disconnect between where we were told her blood-draw would be and where it ended up, so she didn’t have the ointment in the right place.

In hindsight, we should have rescheduled.  The ointment takes half an hour to take effect, and a blood-draw is more involved than getting a shot.  This would be her first.  We decided to “get ‘er done” since we were there and my husband had taken the time from work to help and be present.  My husband held Maya while I tried to distract her with a toy and hide the shot with a book (for both of us) while trying to feed her with her bottle.  It seemed to go on forever, but was maybe a minute or two when my husband said it was enough, while Maya continued crying.  I thought I was doing all I could to help my daughter survive the draw.

Maya - 11 Months

It turned out there was no blood drawn!  The aide was trying to find a vein!  All that time, she said nothing while pricking my daughter for nothing!  I don’t understand why she couldn’t just say she couldn’t find it before pricking her or during the unproductive process!  I would have told her to stop way before my husband did.  This unproductive process has been done with me and I know how painful it is (I had a whole line of co-workers watch while my arm was repeatedly pricked).  I can’t believe this was being done to my child, whose arm is a fraction of the width of mine.

I have a general frustration with some of the professional world that deal with children (and maybe shouldn’t), that seem to discount the pain kids feel.  It’s as if they think that if you can’t speak, you don’t feel pain, or that it somehow doesn’t matter.  I’ve read about surgeries done on babies with little pain relief.  It was after reading an article that I found out about the ointment we now use, which I requested a prescription for.  I don’t see why it wasn’t mentioned by the medical office or just used by them.  More and more, as a parent, I’m learning how proactive we must be in caring for and protecting our children.  It’s frustrating that we can’t always trust professionals in their care, at least not to the level we may want and prefer.

There are unfortunately many ugly realities of parenthood, with vaccinations and blood-draws being high on the list.  We can at least do what is within our power to make these ugly realities less so for our kids.

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