All is Well

 Finding Meaning, Gratitude, Musing on Death, Musings, Outlook, Philosophy, Spirituality  Comments Off on All is Well
Nov 072016
 

In my calmest and most clarified moments, I see…that all is well.  Regardless of the choices made and paths taken, in the end, no matter what, all will be well.  As we near our end, there is not much that will matter or concern us.  We must let go of all there was and choose peace with all there is and is not.  What other options would we choose?  Would we consider ending our lives in anger, regret, remorse, or grief?

None of us were given manuals on how to live our lives.  Day by day, we try to learn about ourselves and how to care for and honor ourselves.  How can we make a judgment call of what is good or bad for someone?  We do not know all there is about life.  We do not know from that which we came and we do not know where we will go.  All we have is the time allowed and the paths in front of us.  We determine the paths chosen and how gracefully we can walk on them.

All we can do is just be.  Be in the moment fully.  That is all we have at any given moment. We can not judge these moments.  They just are.  Each moment is a gift to be mindful of, respect, and cherish.  Our moments savored are nourishing rain drops for our soul.  Our enriched soul can then come forth to awaken, be seen, heard, and honored.  Awakened souls united can enrich the world.

We can not decide or determine how long we are here or have others in our life or in this world.  What are they trying to teach us about ourselves?  What do we learn, understand, respect and honor about ourselves through our relationships?  They are there for us to find ourselves.  Others must be allowed to find their own paths towards the directions they seek.  Their paths and journeys belong to them.  We can not trespass on their paths, but patiently and respectfully hope to be invited to share their journeys as we allow them the privilege to share in ours.

Most of life is beyond our control.  We must simply be and feel all that we are and can become.  Being open to our heart, intuition and soul can allow us to accept, acknowledge and allow all there is…to meet, recognize and embrace our authentic self.  In the end, it is our true self we will be with.

Encouragement from Raleigh to Aurora

 Attitude, Causes, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose, Gratitude, Musing on Death, Philosophy  Comments Off on Encouragement from Raleigh to Aurora
Aug 082012
 

As an employee of the city of Aurora in CO, my husband has come across lots of words of sympathy and encouragement from around the world.  Following is an encouraging letter from the city of Raleigh to the city of Aurora following the recent shooting.

Subject: Words of Encouragement from Raleigh, NC

 

Yesterday afternoon I attended a matinee viewing of The Dark Knight Rises, the final movie in the Batman trilogy; the unfortunate setting for the tragic act of violence during the movie’s midnight premier in your city, Aurora, Colorado. I, like so many others, have been following the unfolding of the theatre shooting and have felt a pull of singularity similar to the immediate reaction of patriotism that followed in the wake of 9/11. Sharing in the horror and impact of the intent and actions of one man I became immediately aware of my own fleeting life upon entering my local theatre. As the previews began my eyes searched for the emergency exits, and I took particular notice of every person who entered the room (all ten of them at that early time of day). During the first few minutes of the movie a rattling of gunfire on the screen made me alert and agitated, echoing the tragic testimonies shared of an audience who quickly diverted their attention from fantasy to reality in an effort to save and protect loved ones and themselves. I thought to myself, should I have come? But as the plot continued I became enraptured by the villainous mind of Bain, the sheer hopelessness of Gotham City, and the contemplative genius of Bob Kane on the relationship between good and evil in our worlds: fiction and reality alike.  As the credits rolled up from the bottom of the screen at the conclusion of the movie, I sat recovering from being emotionally invested in the outcome of the plot and reflecting upon the men and women who are struggling to find solace and understanding in the aftermath of the Aurora tragedy. The truth is the movie made me think only of Aurora.  The character Bruce Wayne repeatedly remarks on his identity being only a suit that anyone can wear. In an epic moment of dialogue during the plot the audience is reminded that a hero can be found in a single moment,  “A hero can be anyone, even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a young boy’s shoulders to let him know the world hasn’t ended (Bruce Wayne as Batman).” Although it is tempting to idolize the fictional Batman as the ultimate hero, there is a resounding distinction between the heroes of fiction and the heroes of our reality. The men, women and children who are picking up the aftermath of the Aurora tragedy are the heroes of our present day. Aurora has a nation of support surrounding them, cheering “rise!” as we watch a community climb out of the darkness of such tragedy. Aurora, I stand with a nation that is shouting cheers full of hope for you, that this tragedy will make you stronger as you search for answers, struggle with prayers, and learn the art of survival that follows great loss. Jonathan Blunk, Alexander Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt MacQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, and Rebecca Wingo are names engraved on my heart.

I could not help but to think of Aurora and the victims of that horrible night, and know that an entire nation is doing the same, as these words are echoed in theatres across the world, “I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss. I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy. I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. It is a far, far better thing that I do, that I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.” Aurora, this is a moment for heroes, and we are all looking at you: a beautiful city, a brilliant people, a community that will rise from this abyss.

 

Sincerely,

Raleigh, NC.

Sad day for CO

 Finding Meaning, Gratitude, Loss, Outlook, Philosophy, Spirituality, Thoughts  1 Response »
Jul 202012
 

I along with fellow Colorado residents woke up this morning to the sad news of another shooting.  I’m sure many that are at least as old as me were transported to that day when there was breaking news of Columbine.  My now 14 year-old teen was an infant as I, a new mom then, was trying to reconcile the world my child was born into…He of course does not remember that day as he connects with fellow teens on what has occurred today.  I wonder what they are saying and how they comfort one another with their limited time on this planet.  I’m not certain how the rest of us console one another.

I don’t know what experience in this world teaches us about these events.  It is particularly hard to hear and understand when the victims are children.  In this case, even a three-month old.  Spiritually and as a mom, this is particularly difficult.  I’m sure all moms would want to hug and hold this child’s mom along with the moms of the other children, such as a six year-old and fourteen year-old (that could have been my teen).  One victim had survived a previous shooting.  She had a strange feeling and had walked out of a mall just before the shooting.

A common difficult feeling most of us feel during times like these is that of helplessness.  In this case, it occurred at midnight, when most of us were sleeping.  It was the first thing I heard about when barely awake, before my first cup of coffee.  But life had to go on, we had to get ready for work and get our daughter ready for daycare.  As the day wore on, we learned more.  The children that lost lives, from 3 months to 14 years.  My child’s beloved daycare teacher’s husband was there, covering a teen boy with his body to shield him.  A City of Aurora employee, my spouse can see the theater from his building at the Aurora Municipal Center.  This tragedy will impact him and his colleagues even more.  I imagine there would be permanent changes to their work culture and how they view their jobs and city.

It is strange to think I was just at the Aurora Municipal Center the previous weekend with our daughter to attend the city’s kid festival, “Kidspree,”  where my husband was volunteering.  There was a huge turn-out from Aurora and the focus was on innocence and fun for the kids.  Some Aurora police officers were there, on their bikes, with not much to do but enjoy the event.  Kids were on the karaoke machine back to back, belting out songs including those from Adele.

One of the thoughts that comes next for most us is regarding what, if anything, we can do.  From a big picture, it is challenging.  How can such a tragedy be prevented?  Are the violent movies to blame?  Is there inadequate or not enough mental health services?  How and why did this student get to this stage?  Is this another case of a “lost” boy as mentioned during Columbine?  Are we not taking adequate care of some of our boys so they can grow up to be caring and responsible members of society?  These are tough, complicated questions with probable tough, complicated answers.  At the same time, such questions and others should be asked and answers should be sought, however complicated they may be.

In the meantime, there are pragmatic, immediate actions that can be done to help if desired.  The American Red Cross Mile High Chapter is seeking donations to help the families displaced or hurt by this violence.  The Bonfils Blood Center is requesting donations of O-Negative and A-Negative blood to help them restore their bank following the numerous surgeries related to injuries sustained during the shooting.

This tragedy reminds us to hold our loved ones close, count our blessings, and to be appreciative of our fragile time here.

Overcoming Obstacles

 Finding balance, Goals, Outlook, Personal Growth, Philosophy, Spirituality  Comments Off on Overcoming Obstacles
Aug 102011
 

The topic of overcoming obstacles has been fascinating to me. How are some people able to come out of challenging situations negatively impacted while others thrive in their lives?

There have been various accounts of people getting caught in a similar difficult situation, but who came out of the experience feeling different – with some less negatively affected than others.  This could have been based on how they perceived their situation and whether they acted to overcome their circumstances and potential negative effect versus becoming passive.

What situations have you felt you’ve overcome well?  Are there tools that you developed that you rely on as a result to continue to overcome difficulties?

I’ve blogged about similar topics along with writing articles for magazines.  I’ve gotten to the point where I wanted to challenge myself with a bigger piece of work.  I’m now polishing up my first (hopefully) ebook entitled:  “In Search of Ganesha, the God of Overcoming Obstacles.”

Look for it within a week!  In it, I share my own experiences on this topic, my reflections, lessons I’ve learned (and still learning), along with tools I’ve found useful that I try to utilize.

Update 8/11/11:  Here is the link to purchase the ebook:  http://uploadnsell.com/buy/k3bEbI

Passport Hell

 Finding balance, Goals, Philosophy, Travel, vacation  Comments Off on Passport Hell
Jun 282011
 

My dual background

Recently, we planned a trip to the Maya Riviera area in Mexico.  We were excited about some beach time – it had been a while.  My kids and I have never been to Mexico.  Then I realized that my passport still had my maiden name, but the rest of my documents and my ticket were in my married name.  I had an extended visa in this passport, which I didn’t want to lose in a renewal.  I got various information, such as needing to contact the Indian embassy and also that I just needed to present both passports – the updated and the one with the visa.

I made an appointment with a local post office that processed passports, taking my toddler with me on May 19.  Although I could send in the paperwork, I wanted to make sure all documents were reviewed and that there would be no issues.  The appointment went smoothly and I was told I would not have to expedite the process (and pay more); there was plenty of time before my July 3 departure.  I was told I could check online regarding the status and could expedite later if needed.  This sounded reasonable.  It cost $110, whereas it would have been free had I processed the update within a year of marriage.

End of June approached and I did not receive my passport.  I looked online and called several times.  I was told it was in process and to call in a few days.  The agents could not give me details and finally sent a note to those processing it.  Then I got a letter on the 23rd stating an original marriage certificate was needed (apparently what I sent and was approved at the post office was a copy and not acceptable).  I called to determine my options.  I was ready and willing to overnight it, and pay for expediting, but wanted to make sure I would get it back in time, which I could not be assured of.

The final option was to start over and get a new passport with my local passport agency and get the passport within 72 hours.  It would cost $195.  I was able to get an appointment the following day.  I had a lengthy medical appointment for my daughter in the area, and was able to have my husband relieve me for the appointment time.  I was fortunately given credit for my previous payment and was charged $60 for expediting – although had I been informed of the need for the original, I could have sent it in and not started over.

Today, June 28, it finally got processed and is in my possession, just 4 days before departure!  Our upcoming trip is more of a reality now. It has been extra stressful trying to go on vacation!  The moral of this story for me is to not wait or delay on tasks like passport updates/renewals, etc. when you actually have a trip planned.  Don’t leave tasks on the back burner for long, as eventually, they may boil over if left unattended for too long!

The Butterfly Experiment

 Goals, Outlook, Philosophy, Spirituality  Comments Off on The Butterfly Experiment
May 022011
 

At the Butterfly Pavillion in Denver

I’m on day 1 of an interesting experiment that I have not done exactly right and have already seen the desired result.  The experiment is about manifestation and personal transformation.

The process utilizes the spiritual laws of attraction.  This is about the idea that what you focus on expands or comes to you.  This means that if you focus on gratitude for that which you already have, it should expand.  Unfortunately, it also means that if you focus on something you’re unhappy about, that too will expand.

One of the “tricks” of manifestation is that if you are hoping for more of something like money, you can’t curse the lack of it in your life at the same time that you desire more.  So, in the spirit of fun and spiritual adventure, I decided to try this experiment in manifestation and the laws of attraction.  The premise is that by focusing on something tangible and simple like butterflies, you should be able to bring them into your life in some form, even if it’s a mention in a song or an image on a card.

So day 1 of the experiment called for 5-15 minutes of meditation (I did about 1 minute) and 17 seconds of visualizing butterflies (although I didn’t time it, I believe I managed this).  I planned on doing more of the meditation tonight.  Motherhood beckoned and I had a mom’s group at my Unitarian church to get to.  At the mom’s group, the preschool coordinator was asked to describe what the preschool kids would be doing today.  She held up a butterfly made with tissues and a clothespin (gasp!) and proceeded to describe how the kids would be making this butterfly craft.

I thought of what a psychic had told me years ago when I was a single mom to a boy – that I was an old soul, had the gift of manifestation which I should explore, and that he saw a girl in my future.  Now that I have a 2 year-old daughter, I wondered if the butterfly craft was affirming his manifestation reading about me.  It’s too soon to tell, but I am intrigued and will continue with the experiment to see if I manifest more butterflies and then perhaps to other agendas (like that million dollars, which my husband fully supports trying to manifest).

 

Source:  The Butterfly Experiment

Managing Stress

 Attitude, Finding balance, Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Outlook, Philosophy, Self-Care  1 Response »
Apr 242011
 

Think about a relaxing waterfall.

Are you highly stressed or anxious?  Stress can wreak havoc on our health in many ways.  Here are some ways to manage it:

Keep Perspective

It is important to keep perspective.  When you feel up, keep notes.  When you feel down, take notes.  When you are down, read these notes to see how you got through it, and more importantly, that you did get through it.

When you are up, enjoy it, and know that you may go down…Don’t take life too seriously!  Remember that the only thing that remains constant is change, “this too shall pass.”

    Laugh

    Maintain a sense of humor and try to find something funny in everyday life.  Be around people that make you laugh.  Watch shows that make you laugh.  Find as many ways as possible  to laugh as much as you can daily.

    Journal

    Work through issues by writing down what is blocking you from the direction you want to go.  Is it you or external events?  What is going well?  What are you grateful for?  Make a list of what you want in all areas of your life.  Diagram the different areas – mental, physical, emotional, spiritual.  Fill in the boxes with what is working.  Which block seems more empty?  That area needs attention.

      Develop a support system

      Ensure you have adequate support to help you when times are tough.  Be comfortable with utilizing professional support including life coaches in addition to friends.  Even pets can be a source of comfort.

       

       

       

      Loss and Gain

       Attitude, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Gratitude, Outlook, Personal Growth, Philosophy  Comments Off on Loss and Gain
      Mar 312011
       

      My sleeping gain

      Lately, I’ve had to come to terms with the idea of loss more – something I think I’ve had to deal with in varying degrees with some challenging peaks.  It got to an overwhelming point and I had to remind myself how I got to the other “normal” side before.

      Loss is something we deal with everyday at different levels.  Everyday, our bodies are 1 day older and we gradually have to let go of a previous notion of what we could expect.  We become one day older and we have to let go of the previous day in order to embrace a new day and all that it offers.

      One aspect of loss is that it is often one side of a coin.  If we can manage to look enough, we can sometimes see the gain on the other side.  I experienced this gain as I kissed my smiling toddler before she went to slept.   This miraculous creature was in my life now and had not been there only two short years ago.  It is true that when one door is shut, another often opens, even if we have to be patient and wait for it or try to have enough awareness to notice it.

      10 Ways to Build Trust

       Communication, Finding balance, Outlook, Philosophy, Relationships  Comments Off on 10 Ways to Build Trust
      Mar 102011
       

      Building trust with my pets and children

      All relationships are built on trust.  It affects how we see others and the world, how we approach situations and how much we’re willing to do for others.  High levels of trust allow us to be relaxed and at our best, while low levels make us uncomfortable.  Here are ten tips to help build trust in relationships:

      1. Keep it confidential.  Be a trustworthy listener and respect the confidence placed in you by not sharing personal information.
      2. Keep your promises and follow through with commitments.  You are seen as reliable when you keep promises and follow through with commitments.  Do what you say, even for small things.
      3. Forgive and move on.  You must be able to forgive and move on to build trusting relationships.  Try to let go of old issues, arguments, and resentments from the past.
      4. Realize that trust is up to you. We are responsible for building trust in relationships, especially new ones.
      5. Trust people who are different from you. It takes much more work to trust people that hold different values, beliefs, and opinions that are different from us.  Look for common interests and use inclusive language that does not alienate others.
      6. Tell the truth. Honesty attracts trusting and trustworthy people.  Admit when you are wrong and make amends as needed.
      7. Communicate openly and honestly. Sharing information openly and honestly allows others to trust your intentions.  Avoid name-calling and negative labels.  Watch your body language and tone.
      8. Be a good listener. Listening well is one of the best ways to show you care and build trust.  Focus on the one talking and don’t try to accomplish other tasks at the same time.
      9. Work at building trust when there is a problem. Talk with the person that disappointed you and find ways to trust the person in smaller ways and allow the trust to be rebuilt over time in bigger areas.
      10. Learn to recognize whom to trust. Do not blindly trust everyone you meet.  Instead, look for signs that the person can be trusted.

      Source:  Ceridian Corp.

      Parenthood and Perfectionism

       Attitude, Children, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Motherhood, Parenting, Philosophy  Comments Off on Parenthood and Perfectionism
      Mar 032011
       

      Imperfect self-feeding

      Parenthood and perfectionism is of course a misnomer.  I doubt there has ever been a parent that felt “perfect.”  Probably the biggest mistake parents make is to expect such a standard from themselves and then kick themselves for not reaching it.  Guilt seems synonymous with being parents.  We never feel we are doing enough or being enough for our kids.

      A New York Times article on Perfectionist Parents points to a study that expectant moms that have the highest expectations of themselves as parents are more likely to suffer postpartum depression later when self-imposed standards are not met.  A reader shared advice from her doctor when she became pregnant:  “She explained that I had just lost control of my life and had nine months to make peace with it.  It was the best advice I was ever given on parenting.”  Another reader commented that she found parenthood to be the perfect antidote for perfectionism.

      Maybe a solution is to allow for some mediocrity and then pat ourselves when we go above that.  It could mean less guilt and stress when our standard is not so high all the time.

      Parents commonly compare their kids – I have been guilty of the same.  We want to know the status of our children by making sure they are doing at least what other kids their age and gender are doing.  Parenting is the only job and role where we don’t get feedback.  Even our marriage partners will certainly let us know if we fall in expected standards!

      Alas, parenthood, expectations of perfection, and of course the resulting guilt go hand-in-hand.  There are not many parents that begin the day with thinking “I will just try to get through the day or just try to make sure that my child survives.”  However, it may help on certain days to just tell yourself, “hey, everybody made it alive today!”  And try to go to bed peacefully and without guilt…

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